FOR LONDON [1: TOM HOLLAND]

CHAPTER TWENTY TWO

jake
did —
did y'all pull your heads outta your asses yet or should I retreat for a little while longer

maria
maybe we did
maybe we didn't

iris
thEY KISSED
all it took was a severe mental breakdown from me and whoosh !!
I mean not that I give a fuck
just —
whatever

maria
she cares abOUT ME
she cares about my hAPPINESS
she lOOOOOVVVEEESSSS ME

iris
look
I really don't wanna have to pay to post an ad for a new roommate
and you know how much I hate interviewing people
but my man you're really pushing me to it

maria
where will I live

iris
somewhere very dark
and very deep down

maria
the shed at the bottom of my parents' garden?
not ideal but okay

jake
I —
don't understand how your friendship works

iris
it barely does
there's not all that much to understand

maria
I am hurt
(!!!)
HURT
😪

iris
oh well

jake
wait no stop I don't care about your friendship woes
I take back my question
I don't want an answer
I wanna kNOW about tom and maria rn

maria
hmmm but idk jake

jake
do you not understand what rn means

iris
you know how outdated and dumb she is
so probably not

jake
right now
right nOW
RIGHT !!! NOW !!!

maria
thank you for the clarification
I genuinely needed it
but honestly jakey baby there's nothing to tell

jake
so you DIDN'T kiss ???

maria
no!

jake
oh bOY MY HEART IS BREAKING

maria
no!
we did 
kiss!
we did kiss!

jake
oh my god you're so confusing
there's only one way I'm going to find out what I want to

iris
nO
don't you dare
this is bad enough with you two
I beg
not another one

jake
another one!

! jake added tom !

iris
bold of you to assume you didn't just start a life-long battle

jake
bold of you to assume we didn't already have a conflict going 😤

tom
h —
hello?

maria
henlo stinky boy
how are u doing

tom
good !!!

maria
good !!!
I'm glad
🤧💘💕💕💖💝

iris
this is sickening
I want out

jake
this is WONDERFUL
I love it !!

tom
hey
not that I'm not grateful
but why am I here
because you realise I can scroll up and see the messages you guys sent before jake added me, right ??

maria
oh boy I love you
but you gotta go

tom
eH
you WHAT me
you can't say that and remove me

maria
sorry but it's for the good of our relationship!

! maria removed tom !

jake
relatIONSHIP
oh my god I'm dying
this is the best day of my life
and it's all down to ME

iris
I didn't see you anywhere in the vicinity when they kissed

jake
good
I didn't want to be seen

maria
what

jake
wHaT

iris
I give up
that's it
have fun living in the 'shed'

maria
why is shed like that
was that a threat
I feel threatened

jake
it was definitely a threat

maria
and, hey —
would you look at that
I gotta go!
tom wants to talk about the fact that I just said I loved him for the first time in front of all of my friends sO
wish me luck!

iris
nope!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: sorry that this was messy