My Savior Lied (Demi Lovato Fanfiction)

Chapter 19 -Forgiveness & Memory

Brook's pov

What's it like to feel? Because right now I feel numb. Nope scratch that I've always felt numb. I don't know why but it helps. Better not to feel because emotions destroy your heart and confuses the heck out of your mind.

What's it like to forgive or be forgiven? Sure it feels great to be forgiven but forgiving that person is harder than you ever thought. Wanna know why? Because of that simple grudge that won't let you go or you won't let it go. Gradually it builds up to something more serious. Like hatered and envy. Which deceives the bitter heart. But keeps intact with the mind.

How do we forgive? Or mostly importantly forgiving yourself. Your proberly thinking WTF?! But after you got to forgive that one person that hurt you, you feel worse. Don't ask why but it hurts real bad. It's the fact that you made yourself believe that the person is forever cruel.

Which Charlotte is proberly thinking right this second. This second where I'm out cold. I can hear voices speaking around me. They are telling me to open my eyes. I can but I don't want to. My choice, my rules.

Mom wouldn't want to forgive a freak like me. She will proberly send me to an orphange again. Knowing that I might aswell die right here, right now. Yeah, I lived in an orphange, it was when she disowned me. She didn't tell you? I'm not surprised.

Ever since she had Dani ,she became distant. I don't mind that at all, at least I can cut in peace. Dani is Wilmer's daughter. I hate Wilmer for what he did to me.

He hurt me, Mom knew but she didn't do nothing because she was in 'love' with him. I partly blamed her for most of the beating he gave me. One time he hit me so hard, right infront of her....

Flashback...

"You slut! Where have you been?!" Wilmer's slurred language echoed in my ear ,right to my brain. "I-I've been out with friends." I told him politely as possible. Well as I could manage.

"A-Are y-you answer-ring me back?!" He pointed out, drunk out of his mind. Mom was home where was she?

"Wilmer?"

Oh there she is, about time. Thank the heaven's...

"Wilmer leave her alone." She spoke with a bit of authority in her voice. Not enough to make Wilmer piss himself .Wilmer's head snapped around fast like he just been whiplashed. "Shut up De-Demetria!" Annoyance clearly laced deep within his words.

"M-Mom it's okay, I'm fine." I smiled a fake smile towards her. She didn't seem convinced at all, but what can I do? She can't expect me to laugh right this moment.

"Did I ask you to speak?!" Wilmer yelled. I flinched back,shaking my head. Before I knew it,his hand landed hard on my face, again with a punch as I fell down on the ground. Next thing I felt was belt whips on my body. In my mind I chanted...

No screaming, no crying, no screaming, no crying...

Just like he told me...

As soon as he finished,Mom looked at me, with horror, then at Wilmer who was walking away, beer in hand. She followed Wilmer! Oh thanks for helping me mom! Picking myself up, I limped all the way upstairs. In case your wondering I wasn't really out with friends. But instead with bullies. Who beat me until I lost conscious. Didn't wake up until an hour later.

Once in the safety of my room, I locked the door. I breathed out. "Why is my life hard?" I whispered to no one in particular. Then the tears fell, landing on my bedroom floor. I don't let myself cry infront of people, especially Wilmer, since I learned the more you cry the more you get beat. It's the rule. He only doesn't beat Dani because it's his real daughter.

Mom had never cared before, not ever actually. All the blows and whips Wilmer gave me was mostly because of Dani. Plus even then she'd stick by his side.

But I forgave her, I always have and always will.

Flasback ends...

Charlotte's pov

This hospital is giving me the pumpkins. (Is that a real phrase? Ehh) The doctor's are taking forever, I want to go home. Everything was perfect, I just needed to be there to make it better. Oh who am I kidding?! I'm a worthless loser. So says my 'mother' and the bullies who hurt me.

"Dad?" I called him. His head snapped up. "Yeah Char?"

"When can I go home?"

"Soon babygirl, really soon." I sighed and glanced at my father's scrunched expression. Telling me that he was in deep thought. So was I.

What I kept wondering to myself was how Demi got here. I mean the only thing I remember is when she hurt me. But then my mind sorta skips to when I was out cold, to when I woke up. A while ago I had a panic attack thinking she was generally going to hurt me. But I feel as if there's something missing, like the pieces of the puzzle don't fit.

I have to find the missing pieces in between. Ehhh later, I'm too lazy. The doctor said it will come back in its own time but I want my memory back now. I can't wait till then, I need to fill in the missing blanks. I don't want to feel left out of situations that I don't remember. I espesically don't want people pitying me. Like I need special treatment. I hate attention, try dealing with that when you have social anxiety. Do you think that's easy? Hell to the no.

I can't help but feel as if there is something I need to do. And it's giving me a heavy heart.

A/N

Well there's your update

I will update as soon as I can

But until then...

Goodbye :p