xiii.

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xiii.

[her thoughts]

remember when I told you

his eyes shone like pieces of glass,

a reflection of the sky?

they still do and I like to stare at them.

because he doesn’t know why,

I could stare at his typical

eyes

and I asked him, “why not?’

and he smiled his dimpled smile

as he turned away to look

at his beautiful sister

who was the spitting image of him

in the way she talked and in the way

she breathed and in the way she looked

especially

and I was speechless

and I was unspoken

and the words hung in the air above us

that I couldn’t eat just enough to keep myself

healthy

while his sister

was trying to live just

to look healthy

and I just don’t understand

why not

why not

why can’t I?

I’m too fat

I’m too round

have you seen my thighs?

can you even see that gap?

I need you to know that

all I ever asked for

was a beautiful body

and I have worked so hard

why can’t I get it still?

why, why, why?

falling || 5sos || auWhere stories live. Discover now