zara. (BWWM)

16.

{ a/n : tw. (suicide) i know once you see it you'll be like "girl it's just one sentence calm down" but anything can trigger anyone.}

You're a dick.

I know.

You were this close to kissing her, Jax squinted his eyes.

I know.

So why didn't you? He yelled to himself.

You know why.

He rolled over and smashed his face into his pillow.

You can't, he let a tear soak a spot on his pillow.

You can't.
And you know you can't.

This is what you get for having a crush.

And that's all this is.
Or was.

A crush.

You'll get over it.

She probably won't even remember tomorrow.

So why are you still crying?
Because I'm lying.

I'm fooling myself to think we can just be friends.
Tell her that.

What's the use?
She probably hates me now.

I hate me.

Just like that, there would be no more saying "Hi" in the hallways or playful banter.

No more laughing at his jokes.
Even though she only laughed once.
For the first and last time.

And not to mention they still had a project to do.

I don't even care anymore, I can't face her after this.
You're a coward.

*****

He wipes his hands, then I find out he was working against me.
Then he almost fucking kisses me.

Was it all just an act?
All for show?

All for bragging rights?
Would he go and laugh about it with Ryan?
Were they acting this whole time?