Behind The Mask

Three

The next time Gwen and Dallas see each other is on the bus. They talk cautiously, both very aware of the fact that Dallas is supposed to come over to her house that afternoon. Millions of questions bubble in both of their minds, but they stick to the unimportant things. Like why they don't just drive cars to school (Dallas doesn't have one, and he doesn't want to drive his mom's minivan. Gwen has one, but doesn't like to drive it. She admits that her dad gave it to her, and that seems to explain everything.) and more random questions. By the end of the bus ride, Gwen knows that Dallas sucks at any sport besides swimming, he has a little brother who's 5, and his favorite color's green. They keep talking by Gwen's locker, oblivious to people's stares.

Dallas learns that Gwen's favorite color is actually green too, she plays basketball and runs long-distance in track, and she would never be a cheerleader, even though tons of people have told her she should be one. Dallas I about to ask why not, when the bell rings for class. They say their rushed good-byes, and half run, half walk, to their first classes.

When Gwen sits down, Emma glares at her, and Sara watches her suspiciously. All of her usual friends are acting strange. They won't look directly at her. Instead, they watch her out of the corners of their eyes. But when the teacher's back is turned, a note falls into her lap. She lets out a small breath she hasn't realized she'd been holding. It's so much easier for Gwen to put on her mask.

She opens the folded notebook paper and her face flushes when she reads what it says. 'Who's that creep u ditched us 2 hang out w/ the day b4 today? Pple r starting 2 wonder if ur still popular. Ur not acting normal.' it says, in sparkly purple ink (of course).

Gwen digs frantically through her bag for a pen and scrawls her answer down. 'He's not a creep! And I wasn't hanging out with him. I just rode the bus home, and he did too. I'm still me! I'm sorry I ditched you and everyone, I just wasn't feeling good.'

She hands her note back to Sara when the teacher's blowing his nose, and taps her fake fingernails on her desk, suddenly irritated. She skips one shopping trip, and people don't think she's popular anymore? She needs that reputation... right?

When the note lands on Gwen's lap again, she just stares at it. She doesn't have to be popular. She doesn't have to put a mask on every day. She doesn't have to pretend to be someone else. So... she stuffs the still-folded note in her bag and takes out her "diary." She hasn't gotten to write in it last night, and suddenly she really wants to.

Looking up, she sees two things. One, the teacher's busy reading. And two, she's getting a lot of dirty looks. But Gwen shrugs it off. She really doesn't care anymore. They don't control who she is.

She turns to a new page in her "diary" and starts scribbling, blocking the page with her arm so no one can read what she's writing. And soon, she's forgotten about everything else. She just writes.

December 6

So, update on my current situation. The populars now hate me (I can tell by the way they're glaring at me right now), which means I won't be popular much longer. Dallas is coming over to my house after school today. I have a meeting with Ms. Green again. And... the cafeteria is serving floppy, greasy pizza again. Woohoo.

But yeah, I just know that by the end of the day, I will no longer be "popular." But, surprisingly, it's not really bothering me. I'm actually starting to wonder why I ever wanted to be popular in the first place

It's just a bunch of fake people and drama. And I am so tired of putting on an act every day. If they don't like me for who I am, then it sucks for them. Because I really don't care anymore.

Dallas is coming over too. Did you catch that? ...honestly, I'm not sure what to think of it. I'm not sure what to think of him. We've been talking and... I don't know. He's just so unlike anyone else I've ever talked to. He reminds me so much of him, but he helps me forget, no, embrace, it too. Dallas is... different. He make me think. Like, really think. Is that... bad?

What are we supposed to do anyways? We could watch a movie maybe? Or... work on homework? I really don't know what he normally does after school. I really don't know what 'I' normally do after school. ...I think we'll just watch a movie and make some popcorn or something. But what kind of movies does he like to watch? I guess I'll have to ask him. I'll watch anything... except for romance. I don't believe in all of that, remember?

I wonder how long he'll stay... Maybe we'll order a pizza or Chinese or something? I don't know... but, it has been bugging me. That's for sure. 

You know what's weird? I never think about what I say around Dallas. I never know what I'm going to say before I say it. I usually just say whatever pops into my head. And that's kind of strange for me, because when I'm with the populars, I have to think about everything I say before I say it. It really is different with Dallas... 

And that cafeteria pizza... Ughh. That stuff is disgusting. It's like someone painted rubber to look like pizza, put some crappy sauce all over it, and poured grease on it to add flavor. It's revolting. So I don't think I'll be eating anything for lunch today. Yay...

Well, the bell's about to ring. I'll probably write this evening, after Dallas leaves. We'll see! Bye!

-Gwen xoxo

The bell rings the second Gwen finishes stuffing her things into her bag, and she rushes out, ignoring the glares of her "friends." 

The day goes on.