him her

man

i feel like hes still alive, you know. but he isnt.

I feel so weak.

I need help, but like my boy used to say.

'i dont want it.'

and he sure didnt.

He didnt want it.

But what if he did, and i was just an awful father to my boy, and i didnt do what i should have?

maybe if i made him go, then maybe he would have found the help he needed and got out of the rat hole i didnt even know he was in.

Im such a poor excuse for a parent.

A father.

A father to my little boy.

i failed.