him her

woman

memories of her.

memories of wounding her.

memories at eating her alive, are eating me alive.

picturing her dead, a floating body, haunts me.

maybe if i hadnt hated her, she'd be alive. maybe if i hadnt been mean to her, maybe she'd be alive.

maybe if i had done many things, she'd be alive.

but its non sense to think such things, when she's in oblivion.

i could not change the past, even if i wanted to.

hurting her kept my sanity, though thinking back to it, maybe i didnt have much of it, anyways.

she kept me sane.

she had had a use,

and now that shes gone,

my sanity is in-existent.

just.

like.

her.