him her

cant

there was a knock at the door.

the man ignored it, but it persisted.

over, and over again.

"what!" he ran his hand down his face as he opened the door, trying to clean off the non-existant dirt of exhaustion.

"hello sir. i am officer Bradley, and this is my partner, officer james." the police men gestured to the man in front of them-who reaked of alcohol- a hand shake. to which he did not respond.

"partner? you gay?" the guy mumbled, glaring at them. not homophobic, but rather annoyed at being bothered.

"no sir. but we would just like to make you aware, that. uh, your son passed away this morning, sometime after 5am." the officers took off their hats, as the old man laughed.

"is this some sick joke?" the man sneered,

"no, no not all. he was in the hospital for a couple of weeks, and just this morning, he had overdosed on various meds. sir, you must have known your son was in the hospital?" the officer, james, scrunched up his eyebrows.

"actually, a couple of weeks ago a few officers, much like yourselves came to my house saying my son was dead. or, well.. they didnt finish what they were say-" he cut himself off.

the officers realized the look. after all, this was their job. admitting deaths. he finally realized. he put it together, the old man did.

"my son.. hes dead?" he had a look of horror on his face.

"i am truely sorry sir-"

"no! tell me, straight up. stop sugar coating shit. is my son dead?!" he raged.

"yes sir." the officers knelt down their heads, showing respect, but of course they got the mans fury. they were the bearers of bad news.

"all this time.. he was in the hospital. i didnt know, i thought he was gone.. gone. do you know what thats like?"his lip wobbled.

"no, sir."

"he was expecting a visit, wasnt he? he was probably wanting his father to come and see him. he could be alive right now! he probably thought i didnt care! or, at least, i could have gotten a bit more time with him.. i could have seen my baby boy one more time, a thousand more times. i could have told him how much i loved him, and he would have said it right back.." the man was crying.

"would you like us to leave, sir?"

"yes please." he whispered, looking down.

"here is my number. call me when you would like.. when you would like to have your son back." he handed the man a card, to which he lifelessly lifted his hand to grab.

he closed the door on the officers, sinking down to the floor.

"i could have seen my son one more time.. he was alive, when i thought he was dead. and now hes really gone.." the man looked up to the ceiling.

"fuck-k you!" he hiccuped, punching the wall when he let the tears fall.

"fuck you." he mumbled.

an.. fast, long, and i am crying. at my own book.

realize the things you have, dont be ignorant. love who you have, and remember to let go, and never to forget the ones youve lost.