Losing Light

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Instead of going directly home after work, I found myself driving to the park. The same park that I would walk to when I was waitressing. God. The memories were almost too awful to remember.

For nostalgia's sake, I decide that I might as well sit on the very bench I met my fiancé on. I smile at the thought, but not much in happiness. There are so many things that I could think about her, good things, but all I can think about is the boy lying prematurely in a coffin.

When I get to the hill where the bench is, I see someone else has sat on the bench. A boy. His hair is ruffled by the wind, and a skateboard is propped up next to him. He looks at his feet.

"Sean?"

He turns to me, and grins in recognition. "Reyna, hey. You got a haircut."

"Yeah. I felt like I needed a bit of a change. I'm probably never cutting it this short again. What are you up to?" I ask him as I sit next to him.

"I wanted to talk to you. My mom threw away your number and she put a GPS on my phone so I can't go anywhere near you or Vi." He replies solemnly. "I remembered she said this was your favorite park. So I've been coming here for days. I was actually going to leave just now."

"Wow." I say, not knowing what else there was to do. "Um, why'd you want to talk?"

Sean puts his hands in his lap and sighs. "Look, Reyna, I talked to Violet the other day, in prison."

My back straightens. "What? Really? What happened between you two?"

"I told her I couldn't see her again because of Mom. She looks really sad. And mad. I don't know. She even lied to me about how jail was. I think it beat the happiness out of her." He glances at the ground sadly. "I don't know if I want to see her again, whether Mom agrees or not. People are giving me crap about Violet and I'd have to wait ages for her to come out. She'd be different. Don't get me wrong, I love my sister. I would support her. I feel like it's more of her problem to deal with than mine. Violet's proud, she would just push me away."

"Sean..." I put my hand on his skinny arm.

He stands up and grabs his skateboard. "That's all I wanted to tell you. And, another thing. Maybe you should think about what I said."

"Which part?" I ask hesitantly.

"The part about Violet's problem." Sean replies and gives me a little half-wave goodbye. He walks down the hill back to his house down the street. I don't watch him walk the whole way, though. I've been to his house a few times, and I don't really need to relive it right now.

I think about his words. How Violet's in her own accidental mess and how she's going to put herself in another once she's out. I didn't quite think of it that way, like Sean had. I thought she'd keep to herself, but didn't specifically label it as a problem. And we can't get married like that. It wouldn't be right. The marriage would have a rocky start, and who knew when it would end?

I want to help her. I really do. I miss her. I love her so much. It's like she implanted something deep within me, and now that she's gone, that space is achingly empty. I miss the innocent dating days when she would be scared to hold my hand. I miss when we were more confident with each other and expressed it again and again.

I want that with Violet again, but she might not be ready for it. She has to be ready for it, and I am going to give her time for that.