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Chapter 2

Walking into the lab the next day, I was in the zone, ready to surround myself with work and not be distracted today. Being a Saturday I know it would just be myself and the security personnel around. They know not to disturb me if it wasn't an emergency.

"Dr Violet!"

I'm pretty sure someone hates me upstairs. Someone must be having a swell time playing with my life.

"Yes. What can I do for you?" I asked the security personnel.

"You got a delivery today"

"I haven't ordered anything and most of our suppliers don't deliver on Saturdays so you must be mistaken"

"I am pretty sure it's for you. The delivery came with a note with your name on it. I myself was shocked but the delivery guy showed me the order and deliver manifest" he replied.

"Ummm...ok, where is it?"

He walks away for a minute. I check my watch, my time is being wasted. I roll my eyes, close them and hold the bridge of my nose.

Looking up I see the security with the biggest bouquet of flowers I have ever seen. I being coughing. What the hell?

"Here it is Dr Violet" he puts the flowers on the security desk.

I pick up the card. Who sends such an obnoxious amount of followers.

I AM SORRY FOR TRYING TO FORCE PLANS ON YOU WITHOUT FOLLOWING DUE PROCESS. I HOPE THE FLOWERS ARE ABLE TO SHOW HOW SORRY I AM AND HOW MUCH I LOOK FORWARD TO OUR DATE IN LESS THAN 14 DAYS. ALEXA TOLD ME YOU'D BE AT WORK TODAY SO I DIDN'T WANT THE FLOWERS TO WAIT AND WILT ON YOUR DOORSTEP. HAVE A LOVELY DAY LOVELY DOCTOR.
- LEO

I didn't think twice before asking to be directed towards the incinerator where we destroy waste. What was so hard to understand with 'do not contact me', if he's hoping to score brownie point he's failing miserably. I walk towards the room and toss the flowers with the note down into the burning flames. Walking to back to my floor, I walk into the nearest restroom and wash my hands thoroughly.

The date was only happening because of Alexa, as I do not need her disturbing my life for the next million years. I am honestly tired of everyone being on my case about men and relationships. It's gotten to the point that my mum has made me a prayer point in her fellowship. She's worried about how I interact with people. Alexa is honestly the only friend I have, I've never had a boyfriend and as far as I'm concern nothing is wrong with that.

Human interaction is one of the most difficult things for me. I would go out if my way to minimise it. I'm not rude when people approach me but if I saw you in public I'd wave and smile and that's the end of that. I know I cannot avoid human contact totally but it takes some serious preparation, mentally and physically, to participate (which is why I need my two weeks notice). After such interactions, I have to take time out to reboot. I don't know why I'm like this but to be honest I won't fix what's not broken. I have a career and lifestyle that I'm able to sustain regardless of my apprehension of being around people.

I would never let others know that being around people for long periods of time gets to me, after all, you don't let just anyone know your weakness. I'd rather excuse myself when I've reached my interaction threshold. I know people have called me a snob or pompous but that's not my problem. What they think of me is their issue, I know who I am, what I like and what I don't and my triggers so I will not be forced into a situation that stresses me, steals my peace or diminishes my ability to have control.

However, here I am being pressured by my best friend to go on a date I rather cancel with a man I might want to strangle. Life has an annoying sense of humour. My stress levels are at an all-time high. I am barely able to concentrate at work, we've established that I've never been good at interacting with people but you should see me with the opposite sex. An actual joke. God, I don't think I can do this. My breathing is labour, my heart is erratic and I can hear my blood rushing through my veins. This room doesn't have enough air, it's hot; too hot for comfort and I can feel sweat on my scalp and I can't stop the first tear and the gushing river that follows.

Running into the restroom and throwing the windows open, the cool air helps a bit. I drop to the floor, pulling my knees to my chest I put my head in between them and try to regulate my breathing. My skin feels like things are crawling on it and I know if I start scratching I won't stop till I draw blood. I continue to cry silently hoping no one hears me or comes into the restroom. Breathe. I am not too sure what caused this particular panic attack or maybe I don't want to totally admit that the thought of a date freaks me out.

The irony is that it is a date with a man whose past actions have partially helped shape my inability to go near the opposite sex. The fear of being used, being seen as less than, the fear of being a passing shadow rears its ugly head. I know my worth, I know I have things to offer but I do not want to be in a situation that does not appreciate me for me and Leo has shown that he can awaken at my insecurities. I don't know what he wants to achieve with this date, maybe it's his own attempt at revenge. I don't know what I want to achieve, am I just curious or do I want to prove something to myself and Alexa. We just have to find out.