Godamn androids(Connor x reader)

Happy Birthday

Guess who's birthday it is? Guess, guess!!

You and Connor were making a bunch of noise setting up a bunch of stuff once you heard grumbling from the hall and shouting you got in position but you noticed a picture on the table so you grabbed it and placed it next to you

Hank: what the hell are you-

You&Connor: Happy Birthday!!

Hank's mouth almost dropped as you passed him a Happy Birthday Whiskey bottle

You: you've been talking about this for a while so Connor and I wanted to get it for you

His eyes were still wide then he suddenly covered his eyes

Connor: Hank are you okay?

He then suddenly pulled the both of you into a hug

Hank: witch one of you motherfuckers planned this?

The both of you went silent but than-

Hank: cause only one of you gets a taste!!

You: Hell yeah my idea I want some!

Connor: don't listen to her Hank it was my idea!

Later

The three of you went out to get burgers as you all waited for your food you had to think it over

You: what the hell even goes into these burgers?

Hank: I don't know... Good shit

You: but... What if it's like chicken dicks or something?

Hank: you're fucking disgusting

Connor: I don't think I wanna eat that anymore

Once you got your burgers you deep scanned it

Burger:  rooster penis, beef-

You: holy shit

Connor: what?

You looked at Hank who was already eating his burger

You: Hank it turns out there is some nasty shit in that burger *shook* you shouldn't eat that

Hank:...

You:...

Connor:...

Gary:...

Pedro:...

Fowler:...

Gavin:...

Perkins:...

Capt. Allen:...

Daniel:...

Markus:...

North:...

Simon:...

Josh:...

Hank: *bites burger with determination*

You: alright solder [you fukin' nasty]

Connor: so uh... I got my first solo win on fortnite yesterday

Hank: *blinks*

You: what why are you not proud?

Hank:... You're both adopted

You and Connor both stared at him in silence before breaking out laughing

Last part

After you and Connor went home Hank stood and looked at where you were standing that morning next to your position was a picture of Cole instead of a sad look he smiled

Hank: I love the three of them

Happy Birthday, Hanky Panky!

Hank: Hey, hey, hey what I'd say about callin' me that!?

Sorry!∆_∆