hacker [e.d]

0.9

My chest heaved up and down as I broke through the crisp night air. My eyes became heavy as the feeling of sleep washed over me, however I wanted to keep going. My pulse was in my throat as my soles began to burn from how hard I was pounding into the street below me.

I couldn't help but think it was wrong, what I was doing. I was ruining peoples lives. Not one, but two people at once. One person loses their popularity, the other loses someone they loved. How do you come back from that type of humiliation? You don't.

Even though I hated him, despised what he did to me, I can't help but feel guilt. I wonder what my life would be like if he hadn't done what he had. If we had stayed together through the year. I would be happier, no one would have their lives ruined, everything would be better. 

I loved him once, maybe that's what's stopping me now.

I let the phone ring twice as I stood in the middle of the road, one foot on each yellow line, walking along it like a tightrope. My chest still leaved as I remembered him, his smile, the way he wheezed when he laughed.

"Lil?" the groggy voice whispered.

"Hi, Lace" I spoke back, more silent than my normal tone.

"Lil, it's" she paused, "2 in the morning"

"I know, I know, I just" I ran my hand along my ponytail, "I don't know if I can do this"

She was silent for a moment, only our breathing could be heard on either side of the line, "Lil, he broke you" she spoke, her voice monotone.

"I-I know, I just... feel guilty"

"That's because you have a heart" she chuckled dryly.

"Listen, you do what you do because people are cruel and deserve to feel the pain that they gave-" she said, her feet shuffling in the background.

"I know, I just feel like I'm ruining everything" I mumbled, kicking excess pieces of asphalt as I stood in place.

"They ruined their relationship, not you" she said, her voice louder than before, "Ethan is different, it wasn't just you that he hurt, there are tons of other girls who got their heart broken by him" there was a silence as I took everything in.

"I need you to remember this" she spoke calmly, the tension building in the air, "he was the one who started this..."

"and you're going to be the one to finish it"

H A C K E R

I watched the clock tick away above the whiteboard, my pen hitting the side of my desk as my heel hit the floor at the same pace. I just needed the day to be over, I wanted to talk to someone, someone who wouldn't understand anything I was talking about and just listen.

I could feel the tension lift off my shoulders as the class was dismissed, the bell sounding just after I placed my bag on my desk. I slid my arms into the loops, easily being the first one out. My eyes trailed along the passing floor as I paced through the hall, lost in my own thoughts.