24. Wedding Bells, Trolls and Santa's Beard

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Random Facebook User has a new status: OMG LIKE I JUST WATCHED BRIDESMAIDS AND IT'S LIKE SUPER COOL AND STUFF... I want my wedding to have a buffet; I want it to be outside; I want ribbons and streamers; I want a dancing husband; I want stories from the past to be shared with the invited youngsters and to dye my hair blonde! I want my wedding like Fleur and Bill's!

Harry Potter: You mean, you want your perfectly tumultuous yet totally gobsmackingly stunning wedding to be not only interrupted, but destroyed by Death Eaters?

Random Facebook User: No--

Harry Potter: If you're inviting Hagrid, don't have a buffet, because it'll just turn to ribs and all the remaining vegetables.

Random Facebook User: Uh--

Harry Potter: AND TO BE OUTSIDE?? Do you know how cold it is? Its like living in Dumby's snowy beard. 

Random Facebook User: But he's not--

Harry Potter: All the stories I were told were just boring facts about this old man with Santa's facial hair and his family tree.

Random Facebook User: Rigghhhtt...

Harry Potter: And GURRRLLL take my advice-- blonde only looks good on my boyfriend. According to your display picture, it'll just make you look fat.

Draco Malfoy: AWWWW babe! xxx

Harry Potter: xoxo

Ginny Weasley: But, what about m--

Random Facebook User: Uhhh... I was just---

Ron Weasley: HARRY, YOU TROLL; LEAVE THE WOMAN ALONE! YOU'RE BLOODY RAPING HER WITH YOUR WORDS OF WISDOM

Harry Potter: Sorry... you can go and have your wedding, darling... Just don't dye your hair. Shave it

Ron Weasley: HARRY STOP BEING A TROLL

Harry Potter: oh, and wear a loose dress; you dont want any of that back-fat showing! *wink wink* #whatarefriendsfor #fashionadvice

Ron Weasley: HARRY STOP IT

Draco Malfoy: But, we're having a buffet and inviting Hagrid; outside; with dancing and sharing stories at our wed--

Harry Potter: Shhh!!

Ron Weasley: . . . 

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⏰ Last updated: Jul 31, 2014 ⏰

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