Heartstrings || Joshua Hong

Chapter 17

Rina POV 

I never got another call or text from Joshua after that day. He hadn't shown up to church that weekend. None of my nor anyone else's attempts to reach him went through. Naturally I freaked out. Confusion turned into hurt and sadness, then to anger and hatred, returning back to confusion as the silence dragged on. 

One week passed. Two. 

By the end of the third week, I knew there was only one way to find out what was going on. 

--

Without hesitation, I knocked on Joshua's front door. It opened slightly. 

"Omo, Rina-ya! Come in, come in", Joshua's mother greeted me, waving me inside. I'd met Joshua's parents a few times at church and Korean family gatherings, but this was the first time I visited their house on my own. 

"Please, sit down and make yourself comfortable. I'll bring some water and snacks", she said, rushing about to welcome me. 

"Oh, no need to about me, eomeonim, I'm so sorry for intruding like this," I said politely. "I...just have something I needed to ask you." 

Joshua's mother noticed my sullen expression and sat down across from me, clasping her hands. "Of course, how may I help?" 

I took a deep breath. "If I may ask...is Joshua alright? He hasn't been responding to any texts or calls and no one has been able to reach him for a few weeks, so I came here to ask if everything was okay..." My voice trailed away. Joshua's mother's expression also changed at the mention of her son and she gave a sad smile. 

After a pause, she said, "Well, to address your question first, yes, Joshua is alright. He..." I noticed she was on the brink of tears. "He isn't here anymore. He moved to South Korea. I'm really sorry, but that's as much as I can tell you." Her tears were flowing freely now and mine were about to spill after hearing her words. 

Joshua had left. Without a single warning. 

"Ah, but he left behind something that I think was meant for you before he moved", she continued, wiping her tears. "Wait here." 

I barely heard her. For the past weeks, I had formed all sorts of scenarios in my head to figure out what was going on, but I never would've thought that this was the reason. Reality caught up to my denial and pain washed over me as the tears started to fall. I didn't know if they were ever going to stop. 

Joshua's mother returned holding a slightly crumpled envelope, offering a hug and a box of tissues after seeing my distraught state. 

"Rina, sweetie, I know how shocking and painful this must be for you right now, but I just want you to know: Joshua loves you a lot and he never wanted to leave you. Okay? Please don't forget that. I'll give you some time alone with this now", she said sweetly, handing me the letter. 

I took the envelope and opened it, fingers trembling. My already broken heart nearly shattered again at the sight of Joshua's oh-too-familiar rushed, yet still somehow neat handwriting. 

--

Dear Rina Song ♡, 

I have so much I want to tell you right now that I don't even know where to start. I know you probably have a million things you want to ask me, too. 

If you're reading this, that means you've probably heard from my parents that I've moved to South Korea. That much is true. But, I can't tell you why. Not yet. As much as I want to, I just can't at the moment and it really kills me every time I think about how hurt, angry, and confused you probably are. It's okay, you have every right to hate me. I am so, so sorry for putting you in this position and I know that I probably can't ever make it up to you, but if I may, I want to ask you to trust me in this. I've found something that I really want to do for the future and I PROMISE that I will make you proud. I swear it.   

Rina, I know you really hate it when I get cringey on you but I need to say this. I really love you and I never wanted to leave you, so please don't doubt me or anything that happened between us. From the moment you ran into our homeroom late on the second day of school, you caught my attention and I saw that you were different from the rest. We roasted and teased each other at any chance we got, but at the end of the day, you were the one who stuck by me and understood me for who I am and I wouldn't want anyone to be by my side besides you. We shared the same passion for music and I truly support whatever you choose to do, whether you walk down a musical path or not. I might not be there beside you now and it torments me, but I believe that our paths will cross in the future. I'm praying to God every day for that to happen. Whatever may come, just know that I love you so, so much, my Rina-pabo, and I can't wait for the day that I can hold you in my arms and kiss your beautiful face again. This isn't a "goodbye", but a "see ya later" :) Please wait for me.

With all of my love, 
♡ Joshua Hong

As if I could stop crying after that. 

--

A/N I'm like TT. Just like TT.