One shots - Phan

17:56

I remember when Dan and I would do everything together. We used to watch countless episodes of an awful, unrealistic soap that neither of us even enjoyed until one fell asleep on the others lap to be awoken with an awkward 'sorry' and then waddle off to the bathroom, thus where we would stand and watch each other brushing our teeth whilst splashing water everywhere. We used to sit and edit YouTube videos next to each other and I would listen to Dan ranting about how spell-check had ruined his internet life as he sent out another, perfectly articulate and intellectual tweet whilst I constructed my childish, fluffy-lion draft just for my internet persona. And when the electrics had gone bust and the lightning would flash outside our apartment, Dan would shuffle into my bed and hug me as I rock back and forth, praying for the sun to come back and everything to be okay again. You name it, we did it.

Nowadays I rarely see him. Dan's always 'out'; getting drunk and bringing home girls that he'd take to his room on the stormy nights where our heating was out and I was curled in my bedroom crying silently because of the lighting. Whilst Dan was in his room radiating heat off of another stranger he'd only send home in the morning as I was making him breakfast. I wouldn't so much as get a 'thanks' for pouring his milk to the line of his cereal and his black coffee and paracetamol for his hungover state. Dan would go out a precisely 17:56 each day to come home with a girl at roughly 1:15 in the morning, allowing me to listen to the hot moans and cries of pleasure that came from just behind the walls next to me. I would only ever wish it was me Dan was moaning over; in both a good, and bad way.

It was 17:55 on a Thursday evening, and as I made Thai Green Curry for two, one to be eaten by me and the other by Dan the following lunch, I heard the clump of sneakers and rattle of keys ready to leave the house for another drink-filled night. For the first night in three, my emotions got the better of me and I couldn't help the silent tears roll down my cheeks as the carrot I was brutally murdering suddenly wasn't my priority. I watched as the clock on the oven turn to 17:56, and, once again, for the first time in 3 months, the door didn't slam shut. All I heard was the muffled sound of Buffy playing on the television and the whizz of the extractor fan above me, but Dan hadn't left. Wiping my eyes, I managed to pluck up the courage to put down the knife and go looking for my once best friend, now acquaintance heart-breaker. I shuffled my odd socks out the kitchen and down the hallway, spotting Dan standing at the door, hand clasping firmly onto the handle, but not moving.

"You should be out." My voice came out broken and fragile as I had barely said anything for three months other than recording the odd video here and there. Dan turned his head just slightly, and a small smile played at his lips for a second, before vanishing as if I hadn't said anything.

"Should I? Do you calculate my every move and make sure and I do the same thing every day?" Dan's accusation came out harsh and blunt towards me, and my current state wasn't able to stand the slight harshness that was in his voice. The tears that I was holding back came out in one, swift waterfall. I couldn't help the sob that escaped my lips and the speed my feet ran me into my room as the door slammed shut behind me. My body fell limp onto my mattress and my emotions let themselves out as I cried loudly into my pillow, soaking the tears up and making a soggy patch on the material.

A few minutes later my door creaked open and the mattress on my bed dipped slightly on the corner, as an arm slid around my waist and a body shuffled close to mine. Soft lips pressed onto the nape of my neck and hot breath shakily beat onto my back. "Why are you crying?" Dan's now soft voice spoke quietly next to my ear, and my whole body softened at his words.

"You're going to leave me again. You'll go out and get a girl and have sex loud enough so I can hear your bed moving." I spoke quietly, almost at a whisper. Dan sighed, pulling himself closer to me and pressing his lips to my neck again, this time letting them linger there.

"You will always be my guy. I only started because I was scared I would fall for you. But we can't stop the inevitable." His words sent shivers down my spine, and I allowed myself to sink back into his touches.

17:56 became our thing. Dan would sneak into my room and climb into bed with me, and depending on our moods depended on whether we had the hot sex Dan once had with strangers at 1:15, or just cuddled and spoke about life and our worries. I love him, and I'm so glad Dan had those one-night stands, or I would've sat in the dark and never told Dan how much he means to me.

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I love this one. That is all

Te amo,

Mitzu

Xx