This is for you, my love

Telling you

(this one is not going to be a poem...sorry)

There is something that i need to tell you.

However i cant fingure out how to tell you.

I type this story to try and let out all of my emotions.

I dont think that it always works.

I want to tell you why i think that life hates me.

I want to tell you that i love you still.

I want to tell you that you are the reason for my pain.

I want to tell you that because of you i am upset is because of you.

i want to tell you that I have loved you since 5th.

I want to tell you that when you told me that you never loved me, i felt like i died.

I felt like you ripped out my heart.

like you wanted that.

I wanted to die that night. 

i wanted to die so much.

I hated you sooo much.

I hated you because i loved you.

you made me love you.

Every little touch, every ''i love you'', every smile, everything was a lie.

everything.

Every hand holding,

Every hug,

Everything.

My heart beat quickens when the thought of you comes up.

my hands grow heavy at the moment.

typing becoming hard.

I need to tell you.

but i dont think that i can...