Trouble

Do You

It's around midnight when everything suddenly breaks together and begins falling apart. The avalanche has crashed down completely now. Namjoon can't quite say what exactly it has been, that made Seokjin suddenly stop and push him away, but whatever it was, he curses it. Because all of a sudden the hands that had just a moment ago been clinging to him desperately push him away with full force. Eyes that had been looking up at him filled with lust and clouded by desire are suddenly cold and filled with hate. In the blink of an eye, everything is back to how it was when they started. And it almost seems like whatever happened in the past hours never happened at all.

"I think that was more than enough", Seokjin explains in a cold and calm manner while he climbs away from under Namjoon, ready to get out of his bed and probably look for the clothes that Namjoon has scattered all over the floor of his bedroom. Red blinking numbers on Namjoon's bedside table display the time and Seokjin squints at them angrily. "I have to do a live broadcast tomorrow morning, so I'd prefer if we could finish up quickly. Where do you have your computer? I want this song deleted as soon as possible so I can go home and maybe take a shower before I have to get up at five in the morning."

For a moment Namjoon glances back and forth between Seokjin and the clock. Maybe this is like the story of Cinderella. The magic wears off at midnight and the princess runs away. But Seokjin won't leave behind a glass slipper. Namjoon had almost forgotten about the circumstances that lead to their meeting. For a moment he was convinced, that there was something more between them. Something that could have been the start of a love story. Or at least it could have been the best one-night-stand of his life. The kind where he lights himself a cigarette while Seokjin still lies in his arms, naked and his face pressed into Namjoon's chest, once they are done. But this is not what they are. The magic really is broken. Namjoon takes one more look at the clock, a couple minutes past midnight, before he gets up with a sigh to pick his pants back up from the floor.

"My studio is downstairs, in the basement, I only have the audio file saved on that computer and I have wifi down there, so you can also delete the tweet and the SoundCloud file and everything else from there."

"Great", Seokjin says in a voice people would usually use to refer to something that is the complete opposite of great. He picks up his clothes from the floor and quickly slips into them, even though they both haven't really cleaned themselves up yet. Bodies still sticky from sweat, lube smeared all over them and then there are of course also some other body fluids that will now soil their fresh clothes because they are still covered in them. Putting clothes on like that feels disgusting and uncomfortable, but Namjoon follows what Seokjin does silently and without complaining. "Then what are we still here for, let's get down there."

Seokjin follows Namjoon down to the basement without speaking another word. And Namjoon also leads the way completely silent. Suddenly they are strangers again. And maybe it would have been better if they had remained strangers. If they had never crossed that line. If Namjoon hadn't been so stupid to force Seokjin to come here today. If he would have continued to admire him from a distance and just jack off to his old porn videos or to fantasies of Seokjin's beautiful full lips around his cock. Maybe if Namjoon hadn't forced this it could have been another story. Maybe they could have met under different circumstances and maybe then they would have been able to really light the spark between them. Because even if he wants to Seokjin can't deny it either. That they have an amazing synergy in bed. That they could be great together like that. And maybe if they had met differently this could be a love story. A cute story about a struggling music producer meeting his celebrity crush by coincidence and them falling in love from there on. Maybe Namjoon would have bumped into him in front of a coffee shop, spilling some hot beverage all over him and then inviting him on a date between hundreds of apologies to make up for it again. Or they run into each other in front of a library, Seokjin knocking a stack of books out of Namjoon's hands, their fingers brushing when they both bend down to pick them up. Or any other romantic fantasy of the first encounter with someone you fall in love with. Maybe that could have been their story. But it isn't. This story is about some asshole underground rapper blackmailing a popular news anchor and former pornstar into having sex with him once. And it will be just once. Because Seokjin will not come back for more. They will not wake up together the day after to have a discussion about where they will go from here over a shared breakfast at some coffeeshop around the corner. There will be no cigarettes after sex, no cuddles, no kiss goodbye. As soon as the video is deleted Seokjin will be gone with it and the only traces that will remain of their night are the bright red bruises on Seokjin's neck and the imprints of fingernails on Namjoon's back. But those will also be gone soon.