Trouble

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Namjoon didn't really expect anything when Yoongi had dared him to text his porn star crush as he started referring to Seokjin as. He didn't even expect for his messages to go through at all. He was sure that after last time Seokjin had surely blocked him. Maybe it would have been better if he did. But somehow the first message he sent got through. So Namjoon typed out a second one. Originally Yoongi had just dared him to type one short message, something really stupid, a typical drunk text basically. Namjoon went for a casual hey with a smiley. One of those with the noses that his friends keep complaining about every time he uses them. :-). Yoongi had rolled his eyes when he had seen the text but he didn't comment on it. Just downed another shot glass full of Soju, scanning the dance floor for someone else he could maybe take home that night after Hoseok's sudden leave. And actually, Namjoon had planned to keep it at just that. Just one stupid drunk text. Nothing more. Show Yoongi the text to prove that he had fulfilled his stupid dare and then move on to something else. But then he had noticed that the text had gotten through. And he just couldn't hold himself back.

The second text had been an apology. Maybe the longest and also messiest apology Namjoon has ever written in his entire life. And he's probably written a lot of them, because Namjoon is someone who tends to apologise in length even when the other person wasn't even that mad. He reread through the whole chat later, again and again, after Seokjin had actually replied to this mess. If Namjoon is being honest with himself, he probably wouldn't have replied to a message like that. He might have even blocked that person without a second thought. His eyes kept reading the same paragraph of his mess of an apology over and over again.

Listen, I know that I really fucked up. And that I can do nothing to make this better. So maybe I should just stop trying. Because I know for a fact that nothing I can do will erase what I did. But I just feel so guilty about all of this. I keep wanting to make up for it somehow. I want to be close to you and comfort you. It's selfish. I guess in the end I'm just doing this to make myself feel better about what I did. I'm really so sorry...

It's pathetic. It's pathetic how he keeps saying that he knows what he's doing. That he knows that he should just stop. And yet he keeps doing it. He really doesn't learn from his mistakes. Because he didn't stop with the messages either. There's a total of twelve of them, getting more and more stupid and pathetic with every new message. The further Namjoon scrolls down his chat with Seokjin the more embarrassed he becomes, thinking that he was really the idiot who wrote that. Namjoon wrote all of the twelve texts over the course of an hour and he can almost see himself getting more and more drunk with each new text now that he rereads them. Somewhere in the middle of it, he asked Seokjin out on a date. Told him that he just wanted to meet up and talk about everything that happened again. And maybe also talk about other things. He basically told him, that he wanted to hear the end of that story Seokjin started telling him when they met at that coffee shop.

He immediately followed that up with a message to take it back. I mean, seeing me is again is probably the last thing you want to do right now. It was kinda stupid to even ask. But of course, he didn't stop at that either. He really should have stopped at that.

Twelve messages. One mess of an apology, an invite on a date that he knows he shouldn't have sent and then even more rambling and apologising. Yeah, Namjoon really didn't expect much from sending these texts. And he especially didn't expect Seokjin to actually reply to that. Of course, he hoped that he would, but Namjoon also knew just how unlikely that would be. He was sure that Seokjin would ignore his texts. Maybe finally block him for good. But surely not reply. Yet somehow he did. He did not ramble, did not send twelve text messages to end up saying nothing at all and contradicting himself with every new sentence. Seokjin only sent back a short message. A place and a time and meet me there if you really want to talk. Nothing else. But it was more than Namjoon ever expected to get back. Probably also more than he deserved. It seems that both of them didn't really learn from their mistakes.