Partners

8.

The usual morning routine was harder to follow when your mind was preoccupied with the events of the upcoming day. I mean I had to give in an essay which I finished writing around 3 am, I had mid-terms next week and I certainly wasn't ready for them.

Also, to top that up, I somehow agreed to go out and spend the evening with the dangerous girl who wanted to show me her extreme motorcycling skills. That sounds great but, I suddenly remembered that I needed that evening for studying.

Who am I kidding? All my studying was thrown out of the window as my life was put in between 2 weird criminal gangs and some shit. I can't seem to concentrate on something other than my doom which was closer than ever now.

However, riding on a motorcycle to god knows where seemed safer than staying at home. Because that option involved human interaction, especially human interaction with Elyssa.

Ever since I was a child I had a fear of being left alone. It got to a point that I was terrified of sleeping in my own room. Slowly I learned to control that fear. I kept it in check with music and movies at my old place. Now voices of arguments from the floor above me and the sound of something breaking in the flat below me never allows me to feel lonely.

There always seems to be a presence of someone in the back to keep my fear from surfacing. Even if it does surface, Casey is always up for a sleepover.

But now having this brand-new phobia of being left alone for I am fearing of getting killed, hasn't really helped me to cope. Elyssa is the only one to whom I can remotely mention it. Not that I ever will, because she doesn't seem like a person who would invest in feelings. But if things get critical and I am on the verge of a panic attack I prefer to have her by my side so I could talk it all.

I push away my ridiculous thoughts as I make my way to the first lesson of the day and curse under my breath because I forget to bring my coffee today. Coffee is my main fuel for running on days like this. And right now, I am a car with really, really, low fuel.

I try not to drift off and write down some of the said things to try to keep myself focused. As soon as we get dismissed I run out of the room to get my coffee. My favorite drug.

"What's up coffee maniac? Didn't get good sleep?" Allison, my main friend from here, asks as she puts her hand around my shoulder and scrunches her nose at the smell of a coffee.

She hates it thinking that it is slowly killing the human brain while she drinks alcohol too often for an average 20-year-old. I always say that let's see whose organs will give up first.

"You seem pretty tired, even for a person who was finishing up coursework. Is there someone I don't know about? Are you seeing a girl or a boy?" Allison's speculations make a quick check up on the situation and she asks me the main questions.

She is pretty hyped about me being Bisexual. At first, she even tried to set me up with some people who 'she has deemed worthy of my presence.' Her exact words. That didn't go well; only had few nightstands and other few assholes who run off as soon as they heard that I like women as well.

I shook my head as an answer for Casey. "I barely manage the work and university don't think that I have some extra time for someone," I said and she chuckled.

She continued to talk about the gossips going around the campus while I nodded along and only sometimes made a reaction. My mind was too busy trying to remember if I bought my phone with me today, or left it at home and if I had a proper shower.

Allison took the turn to her next class while I went to mine. I gave my coursework to the teacher and sat in the back to be able to get some sleep. I took a small sip of my coffee and breathed in the wonderful scent for a few seconds before sighing tiredly.

I really need to fix my sleep schedule, this is not normal. I should probably visit my therapist for getting some sleep pills. But my money barely helps me to meet ends now, I don't have extra money to go to a therapist.

Hopefully, it is fall, many people will be needing a good cup of coffee and sweets. Also, hopefully, they come to eat whenever I am working so I can get tips.

Extra money is always here on Christmas as well. Some of my relatives who are not as bad as my parents, send me gift cards. I am really thankful for them. They even offered me to come and live with them and wanted me to help open up my job, but I kindly refused.

Their help might seem like kindness now, but when it gets down to that, nothing is done out of kindness. Every action is calculated beforehand, and getting a result from that action is always the main goal.

They know that I have a talent in the fields I want to work in- art and fashion. They just want me to owe them a favor so that they can exploit me when I am out of university.

My eyes are slowly closing as I finish my coffee and try to listen to the teacher. Luckily, I can skip the last lesson for today. The teacher loves me and I think missing a lesson is not going to hurt me that bad.

I make my way outside and breath in the air as coffee is making me feel awake. Weather is cloudy, but you can't look up to the sky without squinting your eyes.

It is that time of the year again when you don't know how to dress and what to expect from the weather. I relax as I sit under the tree. I even manage to do some reading before I hear the noises of college students as they make their way out. Guess the day is finally over. I pack my bag and make my way towards the exit.

I was feeling interested and stressed and I might even say anxious this whole time. I didn't know what Elyssa had planned to do to show me her oh-so-great motorcycling abilities.

Not knowing really put me off. I like it when I know what to expect from one situation. However, I am now in the dark and don't know what's going to happen which makes me feel really stressed.

I stop and take a deep breath. My over-thinking was taking control again. With few calming breathes I make my way outside and try to spot Elyssa between lots of cars, students, and by passers.

I walk to the less crowded area- the end of the street and see her leaning on her motorcycle.

She wasn't wearing all leather with cool sunglasses as they show in the movies. Instead, she was wearing a light blue hoodie with jeans. She was playing with the ends of her hair and didn't notice me coming closer to her.

I cleared my throat to grab her attention. "Is it the famous Elyssa, who is said to be one of the best cyclists?" I say trying to start a conversation.

Elyssa rolls her eyes and says " Not one of the best. The Best." I chuckle at her remark and take one of the helmets attached to the handle of the motorcycle.

"I don't believe it until I see it." With this, I fasten my helmet and Elyssa puts on her helmet as she starts the engine of the motorcycle.

"Don't talk so confidently, you might not be ready for that experience. " She winks and I take my seat at the back of the motorcycle.

"We will see," I say and motorcycle takes of leaving the people around it chocking on the dust.