Initiate // Sterek

// two //

I didn't even get a chance to try and sleep again before we were all called for a "pack meeting". I was hating every second of this more and more.

My mind kept going back to the dream I had about Lydia. Seeing her so hurt made me feel horrible. There was something inside me that knew exactly why she was crying. A part that knew how Jackson died. But I couldn't find it. It was like being asked a question you've always known the answer to but when you're made to answer it it's like you've lost the ability to speak.

We all walked into a large room that looked surprisingly modern, furnished with leather sofas, a flat screen TV and a mini library.i took a seat on one of the bigger couches, silently hoping someone would sit beside me that I could talk to.

But that didn't happen.

Ethan, Aiden, Erica and Boyd all sat on the four seater and began immediate conversation with each other. Scott sat on a small two seater that could barely pass as a two seater with Isaac. When he sat down he looked at me as if to say "sorry" and I couldn't help feel a pang of jealousy. Scott was my best friend first, Isaac couldn't just take that away from me now that all this werewolf shit is involved.

Which left me with Malia. Awesome. I sat on one and and she on the other, not a word said between us. Though once I opened my mouth to say something to which she just bared her fangs. I shut up.

"Quiet!" Derek shouted as he came into the room, causing us all to jump out of our skin. Theoretically of course.

"Okay, so I guess this is your first official pack meeting. We have everyone we need here now. Any other people you saw on your way in here, you'll probably never see again. They all went to other packs, outside of Beacon Hills. They aren't your problem." He said. I noticed he was very tall and very muscular as he leaned against one of the bookshelves. "You're here because you have a small piece of supernatural ability inside of you, somewhere. We're going to test you to see if you're worth it. I'm going to train you to get you there." He said, not really looking anyone in the eye.

"And if we're not? You're just going to kill us? Just because we aren't good enough for you? That's bullshit." Scott protested, getting up from his seat. He walked straight up to Derek and looked him in the eye. "If you were the least bit human, you'd be disgusted at what you're doing." He mock-growled as he left the room.

I wanted to go after him but decided against it. Of course, he was right, but you don want to see Scott when he's in a pissy mood.
Instead, I apologised for him. "Sorry, he gets like that a lot when he's pissed off."

The rest of the group looked at me as if to say, "What are you doing? Are you seriously on his side?" But I didn't respond, I just stared blankly at the floor. What the hell was up with me?

"I think I'll leave it there for today." Derek said lowly, a little less confident than he had been before. "We start training tomorrow." He finished before going down one of the aisles of books, waiting for the rest of us to leave.

Eventually everybody but me had left, which made Derek jump a little when he came back to the centre of the room with a book in his hand.

"What're you doing here Stiles? I said you could leave." He said as he took a seat on the little two seater across from me.

"Well one, everybody else is probably pissed at me right now, and two, I wanted to talk to you." I replied. I don't even know why I was talking to him. There was just..something about him...something that makes a curious guy like me need to know what it is.

"Why do you want to talk to me? Is there something wrong?" He asked, a brief flash of concern crossing his face.

I thought about asking one of the hundreds of questions going through my head but decided against it. Instead I told him what was really bothering me. Not that he was likely to care, but I knew he would be honest with me. "I won't be able to do this." I told him honestly. "I'm not strong, physically or mentally. I don't have the ability to concentrate on something this important which will make me fail. Which means I die, and I don't want to die." I told him, not looking up.

"Well that's what I'm for, Stiles." He said looking down at his book. "I'm going to try to help you not die."

"Why should I trust you?" I asked. "Because I believe in you Stiles." He replied. "But you don't even know me Derek!" I said standing up, getting panicky. "I can't fight, I can't learn, I - I can't do anything! " I said dropping to the floor.

I was shaking, my head was pounding in my ears and everything was starting to spin out of focus.

"Stiles! Stiles what's wrong." Derek asked coming over and kneeling down beside me.

"I-I-I think I'm having a panic attack!" I shouted in between breaths.

"Has this happened before?!" He asked, his voice slightly strained. "Not - Not in a long time," I told him. "Derek I can't breathe!" I shouted, my voice strangled. I felt like I would pass out any minute now.

Suddenly, I felt Derek's lips press against mine, and my breath hitched in my throat. I kissed him back before I even began to think it through.

Slowly, my head calmed down, and the only thing that was happening was Derek and my lips moving together, taking breaths in between. My heart hadn't completely stopped racing but I knew that was nothing to do with the panic attack.

Derek pulled away and walked back over to one of the bookshelves while I sat on the ground in shock. "D-Derek?" I asked nervously. "Why did you do that?"

He continued looking through the spines of books for a few minutes before responding. "I heard somewhere that holding your breath can stop panic attacks..." He said before coming back to the area with the couches. "Sorry if I made you uncomfortable, it was a stupid idea. If you want I might be able to transfer you to-"

"Stop, Derek. You kinda saved my life, it wasn't a stupid idea. And in case you didn't notice, I kissed you back. I wasn't uncomfortable." I told him, looking him in the eyes. He looked at me and his eyes began to glow a sort of sad blue.they went back to normal quick enough that I wasn't sure if it had even happened.

"Well you aren't lying." He said. I looked at him in slight confusion. "I was listening to your heartbeat, it didn't skip or tick." He said, his mouth turning up slightly at the sides.

"Super-werewolf hearing ability?" I smirked slightly. "Yep." He replied, playing with his hands and looking down at his feet.

"Stiles, could you do me a favour?" He asked, his tone small. "Anything." I replied.

"Let them know that I don't want them to die." He said quietly. "Scott was right, this isn't normal and it isn't fair." He said, squeezing his knuckles. It looked like a way to take out frustration.

"I'll try my best." I told him honestly, standing up to leave. "Oh and one more thing." I said, walking over to him and leaning down to his ear.

"I'm bi." I said, before kissing him again, quickly and leaving the room.

What have I gotten myself in to?