Initiate // Sterek

// twelve //

Being in this coma has given me lots of time to think. I've went over the day I was bitten in my head countless times, and I still couldn't wrap my head around it all.

I had been so certain that I would die, and I was definitely willing to, that it was hard to fathom that I was still alive. Comatose, but alive. And a werewolf.

After Erica had came, I was out for hours and it was probably the next day by the time I "woke up".

Voices walked by the door, and I listened to find out what was going on. I realized I was now able to hear clearly through the door, my heightened senses kicking in.

"So Peter just left the note and disappeared?" I heard Aiden say in question. "Yeah. Derek figures he's gone into some sort of hiding." Isaac replied. What happened?

"What did the note say again?" Aiden asked. " 'They're coming.' I have no idea what it meant and Derek won't tell anyone. When he seen it he just stormed off. He's back to what he was like before Stiles got here. I haven't seen him in hours." Isaac said. What does he mean 'what he was like before Stiles got here'? And who was coming?

"Alright I gotta go in to see Stiles now. Catch you later Aiden." Isaac said before opening the door to my room. My immediate reaction was to pretend to be asleep, but then I realized that I actually was. If I could laugh, I would. I guessed Isaac was coming in to give his speech to me like the rest of the guys.

I heard him sit down on the chair by the bed. He was quiet for a few moments. "I'm not one for words Stiles but I'm willing to try. I'm not sure what exactly to say to you because I know I'll probably cry and when you wake up you'll beat my ass up for it. But I do believe you're going to wake up. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you didn't." He said sadly. Why would he think that I'd beat him up? "I took Scott away from you and I'm so so sorry. If it wasn't for me you probably wouldn't be in this coma and you probably wouldn't have been bitten. Scott was your friend first. I just need you to know that I never meant to hurt you through him, I was just going through a hard time and he had been the first person in ages to speak to me without being condescending. Over the last month Scott has become so important to me, and in that time I've came to know how important you are to him." Isaac went on. He talked a lot, but he spoke with so much meaning that it wasn't in the slightest annoying. "You were even one of the first topics of conversation we had," he said laughing slightly, as if thinking back on the memory. "Stiles," he said before taking a shaky breath. "I think I love Scott. I don't know if you can hear me but I need to say this anyway," he said taking another breath and grabbing my hand slightly. "Derek looks at you the way I look at Scott, and ever since he bit you he hasn't been the same. I wouldn't be able to cope with Scott looking at me like that. Please Stiles, just please wake up."

~
Malia came in, and sat down in silence. I guessed she couldn't even think of something sarcastic to say. I wanted to say a lot to here though. Mainly, I wanted to thank her. She had been the only person in the 'pack' who had actually gave me a chance. I had nothing against the pack, obviously, but she was the only one there for me when I needed someone. She even gave me advice about Derek, which I hoped I'd get to put into use someday. She was just a mystery of a person, but that was what was great about her. You constantly wanted to ask her things and get her to tell you a story.

She had dropped by once or twice since I was in the coma, and it always went exactly like this. She would walk in, say it was her, then sit down and hold my hand gently. To be honest, I think the only reason she did that was to check my pulse so that I was still breathing. She even somehow took away some of the pain one day, and I was so thankful for it.

There was an unspoken communication between us. All was said in the silence, and that was enough.

Eventually, she got up, gave me a kiss on the cheek and left, heels clicking on the floor as she went.
~
Lydia wouldn't come in the door. I could sense her outside, I could feel the fear running through her. It was as if she had her hand on the handle but just wouldn't turn it. There was nobody there with her, which made me sad. She must have been so alone lately, with Jackson gone her popularity plummeted, not to mention one night her scream could be heard from the opposite side of town. She was all alone. No wonder she was scared. I was the only one she was even close to trusting, but now I've gone and changed into a werewolf. I knew that there would always be a part inside of me that cared for her, and the thought of her going through that hurt that part of me so badly.

I heard a soft thud on the floor outside the room, indicating Lydia had sat on the floor. I could her her starting to cry. "Stiles," she said. "I don't know what to do anymore Stiles." She sobbed. "I need you to wake up. You're all I have left, Stiles. And I'm so effing freaked out because of all of this werewolf crap and I just," she said, fully sobbing now. "I just need you to wake up." She said through the door.

I really, truly tried to force myself awake.

~
Night, at least I thought it was night, rolled around, and the whole place was so quiet, but I couldn't go to sleep. I hadn't seen, sorry, heard Derek all day, so that was probably why.

Being alone with my thoughts was a great thing, yet also terrible too. I kept getting brief flashbacks from before I was brought here, to Derek and I, and I couldn't quite figure any of them out. They barely lasted seconds.

The pain was also still there, but it was starting to soothe into a dull numbness.

Thankfully I wasn't left alone for too long. I heard the door creak open and soft footsteps enter the room. "Hey Stiles.." Derek said, in a whisper tone, as if trying not to wake anyone up. I wanted to reply, I attempted to make some sort of noise with my throat but I still just coulldn't move anything. 

"Here goes nothing," He said, talking more to himself than me. "Stiles, it's been three weeks and I want nothing more than to see your eyes again. Heck, I want you to be a sarcastic asshole again just so I can hear your voice and see you smile. I want to get pissed off at you to see you laugh at your success of irritating me. I want to tell you you're beautiful and be sappy with you. There's lot I want to do with you. I'm not the most openly romantic person in the world, but if you wanted me to walk you down a sandy beach and lay out rose petals as a pathway, I would." He said, laughing slightly at the last part. I wished I could see his laugh, because I never seen enough of it. And I wanted to laugh with him. 

"I want to have you next to me in bed at night, so I can keep you safe. I want to kiss you, hidden and unhidden. I don't think that's a word but, yeah. I need you Stiles and it's all my fault for getting you into this mess. I want to explain everything to you right now, I really do. But I know you'd rather me say things to your face when you're conscious, because for all I know this speech will only ever be heard by me." Wake up, wake up wake up.

"So for now all I'll say is that I did it all for one reason. Because I love you." WAKE UP.

Derek grabbed my hand and started tracing patterns along the skin. "Stiles, it's getting worse." He said, sounding more vulnerable than I had ever heard him before. "I don't know if you remember this but one time we were on a date at my old house, and you asked me if we had a werewolf council. I told you we did, and I wasn't lying. Stiles they know about us and they're coming. It's all my fault." He said, tightening his grip on my hand. I could feel his fear clearly throughout his entire body.

"I don't know what they're going to do but it won't be good. I'm scared. I'm scared for you. I'm scared for me. I know that makes me sound weak, but I am. If I wasn't weak, you'd have never been here. And that probably would have been better for you. I'm so sorry Stiles." He said, a tear dropped from his cheek onto our intertwined hands

I squeezed his back. I squeezed his back.

Derek had practically leapt from his seat when I squeezed his hand. I could here him repeating, "Come on, come on," under his breath

A sensation came over my body, and everything felt loose. Like I was jelly, but the good kind. I attempted to open my eyes, but I couldn't.

My throat was scratchy, but I attempted to use my vocal chords. I gulped loudly, causing my mouth to open slightly.

I could feel something pumping through my veins, and it wasn't adrenaline.The bite was finally working.

Seconds later, I jumped up in the bed, my eyes shot open, shining yellow as I howled.