Initiate // Sterek

// seventeen //

A blur was one way to describe the next few moments.
Malia and I had both paled at Boyd's words. I rushed out of my seat, wanting to know what was happening.

My ears could already pick up the sound of things being thrown around. People being thrown around. My heart hurt at the thought of my friends being almost defenceless against the werewolves. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. This wasn't how I wanted it to go. I needed to help.

I rushed out of the room, Malia following close behind. If only there wasn't so many goddamn halls. I eventually made my way to the hall where the fighting was happening and I could see everything happening in slow motion.

The twins were trying to gang up on this one werewolf that looked sort of small, but then two more werewolves came and attacked them from behind, throwing punches at them, their claws scraping Ethan and Aiden's faces. Scott was pulling some girl off of Erica and was struggling to do it. Isaac was nowhere to be seen, which had me worried. Boyd went over to help Scott, and they successfully got the werewolf off of Erica and began kicking her on the floor. Derek had gone full wolf and was tearing up anyone that came near him. I was terrified. They were starting to gang up on him too. We were easily outnumbered.

I looked over at Malia who had already wolfed-out. We nodded at each other before heading in to battle.
~
Blood. Lots of blood. It was clouding my eyesight and taking over my mind.
I kept slipping in and out of consciousness. I felt wind rush by me. Wind.
We were out of the compound.

I couldn't tell whether I was being carried or what, all I knew was that I was moving. Fast. I couldn't hear anything either, and I definitely couldn't remember anything. The only thing I could feel was a tight grip on my right hand. It was ice cold and frozen still, but the claws were extended.

I couldn't even comprehend what was happening before I became unconscious again.
~
Right now, I was wondering what would have happened if I had never met Derek. I had done it countless times before but this time it was different.

Maybe it was because right now, I was looking down at Derek Hale, on a cold hard slab of marble in a hospital morgue, dead.

The only person I had ever fully given myself to, the only person who'd ever loved me the same way I loved him, was dead. He probably loved me more.

I wasn't crying. I couldn't. From the moment they had told me, only minutes after me waking up, I haven't been able to shed a single tear. They had hooked me up to lots of little machines and drips and tube going to various parts of my body. I wish I could say I asked to visit him nice and calmly. But I can't.

I yelled. A lot. I cursed at the nurses. Babbled on about how they must have made a mistake, that he could heal, to which they gave me weird looks and tried to restrain me.

I gathered up the little strength I had and pulled myself up, yanking out everything that was attached to my body, not even noticing the pain. I stumbled out of the bed but nurses helped me up. I couldn't talk and my face had went slack jawed. They insisted on putting me back into the bed, but I managed to push through them and out into the halls.

Fucking white halls. What good have they ever fucking done.

I looked up at the signs and found the sign for the morgue which was located not to far from where I was now. I was still certain they had made a mistake. Derek was fighting... He was...
I couldn't think straight at all.

I went into the cold room to find him laid out on the table, a white sheet covering his body. My knees gave in as I fell to the floor beside him. I stayed like that for I don't know how long, not being able to bring myself to look at his face. His perfect, under appreciated face.

I stood up wearily, and dragged the sheet down. His face was clear of any expression, but I could already see the deep claw marks from his neck leading down under the sheet. My breath caught at seeing him this way.

My body was in pain, it was coming from my heart and making everything else hurt just as much. I looked down to see blood seeping through my hospital gown, and that's when I noticed the huge chunk of flesh gone from my stomach. The pain was horrific. The wound was too excessive to heal.

I couldn't stand this much longer.

I stumbled slowly over to the desk in the corner of the room and found some paper to write on. A billion words came to my head but I only wrote two.

I'm sorry

I left the paper where it was and dragged myself out of the room. Leaving him was horrible, so gut wrenchingly horrible.
I could have sworn I heard my father yelling about how they shouldn't have let me go wandering around this place. I didn't want him to see me like this, after months of nothing, he can't see me right when I'm about to...

I made my way to an exit and out into the cold parking lot. The chill of the air hit hard against my wounds making me almost double over. I looked around and spotted my jeep. My jeep that I hadn't driven or seen in so long that it was like a phantom limb to me. I hobbled over and got in to find the keys already in the ignition.

I let myself breathe before revving the engine up and pulling it out of its parking space and eventually to the road. I drove to the road along the outskirts of the forest, this would be the perfect place.

There were so many things I wanted to do before I did this, people I wanted to see, but the pain was overpowering every other thing. Not even the pain from my injuries.

The pain of Derek.

I didn't even remember my last words to him. I had never told him I forgave him after all he did for me. He died for me.

So I was going to do the same for him.

Was this our happy ending? Was this what we deserved? Tears were flowing freely now, nothing being able to stop them.

I stopped and revved the engine up to go as fast as this jeep would allow. I pressed the gas pedal and plunged into darkness.