480 Hours

5 | Don't Tell Mamma

Staff Sergeant Hogan

Each day when I visited my mother I arrived early and refused to leave until the nurses were forced to kick me out. I did everything in my power to avoid going home to the Bailey's house at a reasonable time so that I could elude Liam's gorgeous little sister. I didn't trust myself around her, which meant I couldn't be around her, period.

A few days had passed since our evening together on the beach. Each night when I laid my head down on the pillow in my borrowed room, I dreamt of the brown-eyed girl sleeping less than ten feet away in a separate room. Often, I heard her crying out in anguish, but I refrained myself from going to her. I wanted to be there for her, but I knew if I crossed the threshold of my room and crossed into hers, I would never sleep in the room facing the ocean again.

I didn't want her to think that I was avoiding her because she had done something wrong. In fact, she had done the exact opposite. When we saw each other late at night (usually when I walked in the front door and caught her grabbing a late night snack from the kitchen) we would smile at one another before we took turns turning away from the other to continue on with an unimportant task. Although it seemed she wanted to say something, she never did. It almost felt like she too was ignoring me. Which was fine, because I was not here to find a girl, I was here to be with my mother during her final days.

Although I had been in Seaton Bay for less than a week, her health had decreased drastically. Her physicians had already told me to prepare myself and I was forced to call Holden to let him know that our mother might not make it long enough for him to see her before she passed.

When I was with her, she was always in high spirits, at least when she was awake long enough to acknowledge I was in the room with her. The majority of our time together was spent with one-sided conversations on my part as she slept soundly next to me. Sometimes, I caught her up on all of the things she had missed in my life while I was away and other times I read to her like she had done for me when I was sick as a child. Next to her bed, I had found a couple of her favorite tattered novels I had often seen lying around the house when I was a child. Although none of the silly "feel good" stories peaked my interest, I read every word to her as though these books contained the most interesting words known to man.

"Honey, what's on your mind? Since you arrived I can tell there is something bothering you. Is it a girl?" She sounded hopeful and although Maggie was not the reason I had been acting strangely, it was easier to tell her about Liam's overly attractive little sister than it was to tell her how hurt I was by her deception.

I placed the receipt for coffee I had been using as a bookmark back into her book before looking her way. "Liam's little sister is not at all what I had been expecting." A huge smile graced her face as she came to the assumption that she had been correct about my sour mood, it had been a girl.

I could tell she was excited about the prospects of this issue. Holden had had dozens of girlfriends before he wised up and married Hazel, which meant my mother had counseled him through numerous types of heartbreak. Holden and I differed in this department. For one, I did not have very many girlfriends growing up and after I entered the Corps, I pretty much lost interest in dating after I realized all women wanted to get married right away and start popping out babies. I didn't want to settle down and I surely was not ready for a baby. For that reason, she had never been able to talk to me about girls. I had always kept that part of my life a mystery to my mother, but if letting her in on a barely developed relationship I shared with Maggie brought her joy, I was plenty willing to share.

She giggled sweetly before responding, "And that is an issue, why?" It wasn't really an issue per say. However, when Liam had mentioned that he lived with his twenty three year old sister, I had not imagined the mature and caring woman living across the hall from me. To be honest, because Liam had never mentioned her, I had half expected a young girl who had yet to graduate college and was living with her brother to save money. I was expecting Maggie to be like every other college aged girl I met outside of the Corps.