Perfect Mess

15. Poetry Night

"Karaoke?" I asked Sebastian as we walked into a small cafe. It's ten fifteen and so far we'e driven from the house and to the cafe, but the car ride there was fun and talking non-stop.

"Yeah, well I ended up talking to your brother while he was on set today and he let me know that poetry is one of your favorite things. I also knew that every Friday night there's a poetry night here so I figured that you'd enjoy it," he said holding the door open for me and I walked right in as I said thank you.

"I'm excited. Is it like an open mic night or are there professional poets?" I asked as he placed his hand on my lower back and lead me to a table near the back of the shop, I'm assuming so he wouldn't get noticed and our night wouldn't be interrupted.

"A mixture of both. One week it's open mic and the next it's a professional, tonight it's open mic," he said smiling at me and I got a little giddy because I have been working on a new poem and would love to get feed back from a large group about it. Ever since I was younger I always turned to poetry when I'm harboring emotions that I can't verbalize to anyone. Writing them down always allows me to release everything I've been holding in.

"Can I get you anything?" a woman asked as we sat down at the half booth, causing us to sit down next to each other since the space in front of us where the other side would've have been is open so we can see the stage.

"A hot chocolate?" I asked cautiously since I had no clue what they served here.

"I'll have a coffee, black and two peanut butter cookies. Thanks," Sebastian said smiling at her and she nodded her head before walking away.

"Black coffee?" I asked him with a raised eyebrow and he laughed with a nod of is head.

"Once I get you home later I have to head to set, it's going to be a long night,"

"You didn't have to bring me out tonight. You could've canceled I would've understood. You need sleep Sebastian," and he laughed as my worry grew.

"Don't worry I'll be okay," he said and I nodded my head, "Your uncles say that you majored in theatre," Sebastian finally stated after silence settled over the two of us like a blanket.

"Theare and Creative Writing. I was going to apply to ACT, NYU, and Rutgers, but my anxiety got the best of me and I chickened out," I said and after seeing the look of confusion on his face I went on to explain, "I didn't think my audition would be strong enough so I figured why even bother. In the end though I regret it, but also I spent this past year focusing on my writing and my channel. Promise not to tell anyone?" I asked him as I was about to tell him about one of my biggest on going projects.

"Of course," he said looking at me and not breaking eye contact with me even when the waitress comes and sets the drinks and cookies down.

"I'm hoping that by Christmas this year my first book will be published. It's a book of poetry, but I'm really excited to have it out there," I said gushing over the thought of the book coming out.

"That's amazing. Are you going to perform a poem tonight?" he asked me and even though I thought about it I wasn't too sure. I wasn't sure until the fifth person of the night had read there and I felt the urge to share my work. I told Sebastian I needed to use the rest room, but instead I signed up for a slot and I was two people away. When I came back Sebastian smiled at me as he broke off a piece of the cookie that he got for himself. I hadn't touched mine yet because I was saving it.

"Enjoying yourself?" He asked me and I nodded my head as I put it on his shoulder and he put his arm around my shoulder. Why my head is on his shoulder? I'm not really sure, but it feels so right and so good, but so scandalous at the same time. We sat like this through the next poets sometimes whispering observations from the poems to each other as if we were the only two in the whole cafe. Now it's my turn to go up and when my name was called I was met with Sebastian's shocked expression. As I walked up I felt people watching me and once on stage I brought down the mic so it was the correct height for me.

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When I was finished the crowed clapped and even though the room was full the only person I looked at for approval was Sebastian. He held a smile while clapping and cheering for me. I gave the crowd one last smile before making my way back to our booth.

"That, you, were amazing," he said hugging me as I sit down.

"Thanks," I said tucking some of my hair behind my ear being afraid that he still would ask a lot of questions about the meaning of what was said. That he would want to get deeper into a subject that I can't talk about unless it's written down in front of me in poem form.

"When you're ready. I'm here," he said meeting my eyes finally as if he was reading my mind and I kissed his cheek before leaning back and giving him a slight smile before looking back at the stage. It was time for the last performer and once it was over Sebastian and I laughed.

"Can we...can we just walk around for a bit?" I asked him as we approached his car and my request surprised him. He stopped for a second and looked around before agreeing to. I wasn't ready for the night to end and the night air felt amazing on my skin. The night air gave me space to breath without worrying or thinking about what was going to happen next.