The New Kid (A Zayn Malik Fanfiction)

Chapter 18

"Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones. And I will try to fix you." -Coldplay

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Chapter 18

*Just as a warning, this chapter deals with thoughts of suicide and death and things as such. If you are not comfortable with reading about those things, please skip this chapter (and maybe a few others I'm not sure yet). Read at your own risk.*

9 days.

That how long it's been since I've done anything. I haven't eaten or had any form of human interaction besides going to school. Even at school, I don't talk. I just sit in the back of the room and zone out. Not the zone out like "I'm so bored so I will think about how hot Zac Efron is" but, the "I'm in an utter depression and I don't know what to do with my life".

Zayn has made several attempts to try and make me show any sign of emotion. The 5th time he asked me to go to Taco Bell to get some tacos (which he somehow knows is my favorite food). That was the only time I've talked within these few days.

Flashback:

"Hey you wanna get some tacos?"

"No."

"C'mon it'll be fun."

"Zayn you're vegetarian and I'm not in a taco mood."

"Please."

"No. Leave me alone please."

"C'mon you haven't shown any emotions for like 3 days straight."

"No."

The rest of the days I've just been sulking around like a zombie. Little does Zayn know, I've shown a lot of emotion recently. Just not happy emotions.

For the past week I've been crying nonstop from the time I get home to the time I go to bed. Sometimes, I even cry in the bathroom at school.

I've been thinking about suicide, too. I might as well, I'm worthless after all. I have nothing to live for. Sure, I might be able to sing and dance and sure people can say "you're breathing so you have a lot to live for." Yeah I'm breathing, but am I alive? And yeah Laurie Halse Anderson said, "When people don't express themselves, they die one piece at a time." But if that's true, I'm already dead.

I know that suicide isn't the way to go in these situations, but why not? I've got nothing here, after all. Maybe death really is the end. Maybe the great adventure that is death is greater than the great adventure that is life.

Death is oblivious to the unwilling mind. It creeps up on you when you least expect it but, sometimes it dances and stands right in your face but you never know.

Some say death is but the next great adventure, well if that's true, I'm ready for my next great adventure. Take me and let me leave everyone behind to carry on their daily lives as I slip away through the cracks of life. I'm on a thin line between life and death and with each day, it's getting thinner and thinner.

-

*ring,ring*

"Hello?"

The unfamiliar sound of my voice startles me as I answer the random call from a blocked number in the middle of the night.

"Come to the park."

"Who is this?"

"I can't tell you that, ma'am."

"What park?"

"Near your house. Wear something casual. Be here in 10 minutes."

With that, the person hangs up and I'm left to ponder over whether I should go. If I go, I could potentially die. If I don't go, I could also potentially die. Either way I get what I wanted. Great.