B R O K E N// TaehyungxBTS

A date with Death

(A/N: Thank you for being patient, highschool sucks. Also thank you to all the people who left me complements on my writing. I'm very insecure about it. I found a story i wrote in 3rd grade and it's the worst thing i have ever read in my life [and i've read My Immortal. It's a harry potter ff and if you know what i'm talking about im sorry] I've been insecure ever since. I'm such a grammar nazi now i swear like i cant 'edit' after i've written it because i edit as i go. If it's not perfect i can't move on. Thats why it takes so long to write sometimes. Sometimes i get so caught up in writing and the fact its not perfect that i have to take a break or i'll have a break down lol. Anyway without further ado... the chapter!

Trigger warnings: Self harm and suicide. I'm sorry for this chapter.)

-

Jimin and Jungkook approached Namjoon's studio, hoping for something. 

"Hyung," Jungkook started out. Namjoon paused what he was doing, looking up at the two boys. He knew they wouldn't bug him if it wasn't important. ".. Taehyung.. he-" Jungkook bursts out crying, not able to finish. He falls into Namjoon's open arms, as Namjoon comforts Jungkook, he looks up to Jimin, who's silently crying as well, for the end of the sentence. 

"Taehyung, he's been hurting himself. He hasn't been eating as well." Jimin says quiet, almost too quiet. But Namjoon heard it. He felt his world stop. This band was his entire world, he couldn't stand hearing about one of them struggling. Namjoon hates himself, he's been so busy with this goddamn album.. he never noticed... oh god... he never noticed...

-

Meanwhile, Taehyung was sitting in his room, wondering what to do. He wanted to talk to someone, his mind was on overdrive and he needed to get it out. He heard a knock on the door.

"Come in-" His voice cracks. He doesn't look up at who it is. He feels the bed dip slightly, a hand comes under Taehyung's chin, forcing him to look up. Taehyung flinches away from the hand but looks up anyway. It's Yoongi. 

"Are you okay, Taehyung?" He says in a quiet voice. Taehyung nods, he's fine, or at least his mind is telling him that he is. 

"I'm fine." Yoongi nods, not pushing the kid any further. He stands up and walks towards the door.

"If you ever need to talk, come to me." Taehyung nods. Yoongi's half way out the door before he stops, "Jin's almost finished with dinner, if you wanna come out."  Taehyung shakes his head,

"Not hungry, Hyung." Yoongi looks at Taehyung with sad eyes but closes the door and walks out. 

During this exchange, Taehyung has made his decision: He doesn't want to live anymore. He goes to the bathroom and shuts and locks the door. He tries to calm himself but he's too hysterical. He sobs so loudly it can be heard through out the entire house. He doesn't care anymore.

Nothing matters anymore, Taehyung. You won't be alive in the next ten minutes. 

The voice inside his head tells him. He nods to himself and pulls out the blade from behind the mirror. He fills the tub with water and gets in. He didn't care about the temperature, so it's freezing when he gets in. He shivers but hey, like the voice said, in the next ten minutes it won't matter. He'll be dead. He didn't even take his clothes off. He rolls up the sleeve of his shirt. He's been wearing hoodies. No one notices anything different. It's winter. 

Taehyung has always loved winter. It's cold, yes but it's beautiful, a different kind of beautiful. Taehyung makes a cut for every beautiful thing in his life. 

Winter

the first thing he feels is coldness. He got hit in the face with a snowball. He laughs and looks up at the culprit. Jungkook. That brat. He can't be mad. He just laughs, and laughs and laughs. He grabs up snow and chucks it at the makene. It turns into a full out fight. Before he knows it, all of his hyungs are involved and they're stumbling back into the dorm all laughing hysterically. Faces red and numb from the cold but it doesn't matter. They're all together, they're happy. Everything's going great in their lives but they're all they need.

That was 2 years ago. Taehyung isn't happy anymore. They haven't had a snow fight in 2 years. They're all falling apart and no one is trying to stop it. 

Yoongi

another cut

Not much is beautiful to him anymore. Everything is a diluted gray but Yoongi's always been in color. 

He cuts one more time. A little too deep, but that's  what he wanted. He screams a little too loudly. 

- 

Namjoon was on his way to talk to Taehyung, to figure all of this out, when he hears a scream. He runs to Taehyung's bathroom. He knocks, but Taehyung doesn't answer. He doesn't care anymore. He can't open the door it's locked. Namjoon starts screaming for help. Everyone comes running at once. He just looks over to Yoongi and Yoongi looks down. Everyone knew what was going on, Jungkook punches through the door and they get in. They are horrified by what they see.

-

I hear a loud bang. My eyes are closed. I can't fight to keep them open anymore. I hear Jin hyung's voice by my side. Yoongi sounds like he's crying. 

"You're going to be okay. Taehyung, open your eyes for me, please." Taehyung can't. He hears Jin sob. He doesn't know who else is in the room  but he assumes everyone. He hears Namjoon talking softly, choked up, his mangled voice makes Taehyung feel guilty, he wanted to end his suffering and not make anyone else suffer. 

Too late for that now.

"The ambulance is on their way." He hears Namjoon say. 

Too late for that now.

Is all Taehyung can think of before he slips out of consciousness.

Can't take the kid from the fight
Take the fight from the kid
Sit back, relax, sit back, relapse again
Can't take the kid from the fight
Take the fight from the kid
Just sit back, just sit backYou're a regular decorated emergency
You're a regular decorated emergency...

Camisado- Panic! At The Disco