Revenge | [discontinued]

Chapter 16

It's alright, it's OK. #AshleyTisdale

(I wrote this chap on my phone, therefore I'm sorry for the typos. Unedited.)

A recap from the last chapters :

Dave has been bullying Stella ever since their sophomore year. Alex came to save Stella one day from Dave who was bullying her, and that was the first time they started being friends. Stella has an abusive father and a broken family. She also has a secret dream to be a pianist. One day, someone kidnapped her Mom and she tried to find and save her right when she accidentally met Dave who was strangely being niAlso, she started to realize her feelings towards Alex recently. (Sorry, I'm so bad at recapping.)

Happy reading! Enjoy (:

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Sixteen

Stella's POV

After that park event, both Alex and I do the following activities normally. We act like there's nothing wrong has happened between us. Or exactly, I'm the one who acts like there's nothing wrong has happened. But I do realize that deep inside my heart, I'm really messed up. And thenceforth, I couldn't easily look him in the eye, nor talk to him the same anymore without having myself going nuts inside. It feels like he's consumed the every cell of my brain gradually.

But, I also know that I can't have this feelings towards him. I can't let this feelings get bigger. I can't let this feelings grow and blossom up into a beautiful flower.

Having feelings for someone is honestly a complicated and unbearable thing, and I don't want to deal with it. My life has been a chaos, and I don't need to add a love story into it. Once you fall for them, worse if it's deeply, you'd hardly find a way to go back up. Who would we blame after that? No one but us, of course. Because it's not their complete fault for causing us to fall, but us, who let ourselves to fall.

Like falling off the cliff, the deeper you fall, the bigger you'd get hurt. And when you get hurt, everything would never be the same again. You would never be whole anymore. Because like a sentence that says; 'the glass that falls would always be in fractions.' So do our hearts.

Besides, he's just my rescuer that accidentally turns out to be my friend, and I know that's all we will ever be regardless.

But then, there would be a moment where my subconscious would interrupt my thoughts by saying; we don't choose whom we like or love, our heart does.

When it comes to feelings, none of us could honestly handle it. Not even our brain. Because actually, feelings are something that is irrational. Something that isn't logical.

When we like someone, we'd actually just do it with no hesitation. We'd attempt to search for logical reasons of why we like them, but we eventually come up with 'their physical and appearance' reasons. But I know it's actually not the main reason why. Because, as what I said before, feelings are something that is irrational and not logical. It's not supposed to be found or seen. It's supposed to be felt. And by felt, it could only be sensed by our hearts.

Honestly, I don't know how I exactly feel towards Alex, but I sure as hell know that it will sooner or later turn out to be something I've never expected would most likely happen before. There's actually no way to stop my feelings from growing bigger, but at least, I can try to minimize it little by little.

Therefore, two days after the park incident, which is Monday, I decide to avoid him in order to prevent my feelings from growing uncontrollably. Doesn't mean that I want our friendship to be over, but more because I need to numb my feelings. And since he's my senior, this is a lot easier to do because we'll never be going to share the same class.