Poetry

Under Pressure

Girl-

I been working hard, I been searching for God

I been working hard, I been searching for God

Sofisticated, this is Sophia, you're busy, I get you

But I insist you call me back cause I miss you

I wish you well, well, I wish you would call

Cause lately you feel like I was never yours at all, all

Uh, I'm sorry for calling and balling, I'm all in

And I feel like I'm falling lately, it feel like my children hate me

You tell me I'm beautiful and yet no man wanna date me

Haunted by vivid memories of the man who raped me

And lately I, I feel more and more like mommy, I know I'm me, but still

You always seemed to pick up the phone and somehow I feel

Better, but you been answering me lesser and lesser

So I resorted to the pills in my dresser, I'm gone

And as for [?] he left and he ain't coming back

I hate the man, if I see him I swear I tell him that

No longer cooking crack in my kitchen, cutting and selling that

He broke my heart, that relationship been to hell and back 

I been working hard, I been searching for God

I can feel the Devil around me as they all applaud

Promise you won't forget me, that you'll always be with me

And even when you gone I can call whenever he hit me.

Me-

Under pressure... I've been feeling under pressure

Bio mom-

Hey, son, this is your mother, don't mean to bother

How are you? Heard you were in town, but I never saw ya

Tried to call ya, where are ya?

And Paris, what a beautiful destination

And perish right by the Eiffel, come now, please don't be spiteful

Of all my small talk, I think we're overdue a long talk

When I see kids around the way I say "how I'm your mom"

It gets me thinking 'bout those moments we could've bond

And on the real I'm trying so hard not to bug you

But do you think you can stop rapping about my drug use?

I'm two years clean, no longer a fiend

Yeah, I'm 47, but I feel 19

And I love you I swear, Adam, I know you're there

And when the time is right I know that you gon' take care

Of anything I need, of your family

Can I have some tickets to your next show?

Will you stand with me?

Can I have some money for my new man that's very fine?

I forgot to mention I got divorced from your real dad

My mind going crazy, but I still look so clam.

Me-

I've been feeling under pressure

Yeah, dear friends and family, I'm so sorry that I've been distant

Everything changed in an instant, my time has been inconsistent

I know that you been insistent, I know that birthday I missed it

I swore I told my assistant, but I guess my mind is in another place

Thoughts off in another world, I started seeing another girl

It fell through, man, what a world

But I'm so focused on my craft, unemploying my staff

Such a perfectionist, I can't even finish this draft

This letter to the ones I love, the ones that I miss

Brothers and sisters that hit me up just to reminisce

Meanwhile, people outside of my blood asking for favors

I don't owe you anything, you best switch your behavior

Truly remarkable how I barely know you, but somehow owe you

When you don't even know 'bout the stuff I go through, uh

We ain't spoken in a while, tell me Sophia, how your child?

Come now, girl, give me a smile, come on girl, don't do me foul

Sorry I ain't call before, but I'm calling you right now

I heard you was popping E, stop resorting to the vowel

Girl-

How your mama, how she doing, does she know what your pursuing?

Me-

I ain't talk to her in years, that relationship she ruined

But sometimes I wake up and wonder just what the heck I'm doing

They say family is everything, I swear that is the truth

I should spend it all with y'all, but I spend it in the booth

This is everything I love, this is everything I need

Never sacrifice this feeling even though my heart bleed

This is everything I love, everything I need

Never sacrifice this feeling even though my heart bleed

Under pressure...

I've been feeling under pressure

(END)