Inferno | ✎

09

**TW: Depression, mental health discussion, homophobia**

FOR THE NEXT FEW weeks, Gabriel and Nathaniel often found themselves sneaking out after work together. Sometimes, it was a date. Other times, it was to tangle with each other at Nathaniel's house, kissing, reaching, grabbing, moaning. Once the pair had crossed the barrier of going out on a real date, they began to cross more. Gabriel fell deeper and harder with every kiss, groan, thrust. But, with every motion, every touch, every action, all Gabriel could picture afterward was Isabel's cold, condescending stare, and all he could feel was a sinking weight in his gut.

The guilt was beginning to take it's toll. Some days he didn't eat. Some days, he called in sick for work, doing nothing but cocoon in his bed, begging that Isabel would just leave him alone; for the most part, she did. Those days were the worst. He felt like he was drowning from the inside out, devoid of any energy or motivation.

It's been there in the back of Gabriel's mind since he was a teenager. The rejection from his parents for his sexuality was a catalyst; they were and still are catholics, and Gabriel's bisexuality was sin. Once word got out at school of his sexuality after a student had overheard Gabriel's parents talking to their parents about his 'deviancy', he went to an incredibly dark and lonely place. Once he was old enough, he moved out and found a place as far as he could from his parents, living paycheck to paycheck until he became a firefighter. He went no-contact, but as he began to get therapy after meeting Isabel and going on anti-depressants, he very, very slowly developed boundaries with his parents and was trying to repair his relationship with them. He never did tell Isabel why he had a rough relationship with his parents; he was worried she would reject him the same way they did. She was still happy that he wanted to fix things with them though, and was supportive despite the walls Gabriel had put up. Maybe that's why he married her. After all, he did at some point love Isabel and did want kids, and he wanted those kids to have a relationship with their future grandparents. They did not deserve it, but that potential child did. 

But once Isabel turned on him and began being an even worse variant of the people he had escaped, all that hard work undoing his trauma was destroyed. Any thought of a child vanished in his head, and all he could manage with his parents was the occasional awkward text chat that basically confirmed to his parents that he was still alive and that he was still working. 

Soon afterward, the therapist he was seeing moved to another state, and he was stranded. His therapist recommended a few others to take over his sessions with Gabriel, but he never clicked with them quite like he did with his first therapist. 

For so long, Gabriel was by himself. Then, Nathaniel came along, and unintentionally began helping.

A few weeks after their first epic date, Gabriel stayed the night at Nathaniel's. It was late; Gabriel hadn't intended on staying, but he had a little too much wine (that Nathaniel had stocked up on after seeing Gabriel enjoy the hell out of it) and figured it was best to crash with him rather than crash his car. He told Isabel he was at a friend's, much to her annoyance, but she bought the lie. She gloated about finally having the house to herself without having to worry about him ruining the mood with his mental instability. 

He was gutted, to say the least. He never understood how she went from understanding his depression to resenting him for it.

The pair crawled into Nathaniel's queen bed, Gabriel resting his head on Nathaniel's chest. Nathaniel had put on Futurama, his favourite comfort TV show, after Gabriel told him he had never watched a single episode before. A few episodes had passed, and the story helped him forget about Isabel. Mostly.