"Just smile and say your fine, cause nobody really cares anyways."
How can I live my life peacefully if there's no one by my side? You see how people get married because they love and support each other and then they live happily ever after? This is not that story.
Since my parents achieved so much, my family expect me to be something great. Instead I'm worthless and useless. They can't accept the fact that maybe I can't do it. Maybe I'm not worth the trouble. I can't keep on doing it forever.
My friends don't care either. Whenever I make a friend they leave me. I hate being ignored and yet that's all that happens. They always know each other so well, talking about shit that I don't understand and they can almost never talk about something that even I have an interest in.
Life has its ups and downs. It's not so great for me. It's been mostly downs. I used to cry myself to sleep everyday. It got a little better and now it's all back. All the problems that I thought I left.
Everyday I look at the mirror and put up a smile. For who? I don't know. No one knows. The fake smiles, the ignorant bitches, the haters, the insults, I can't take it all. I'm just one person and this is too much for a person to handle.
Not many people know this but I'm insecure. I'm scared of what people think of me. I'm scared they'll leave me if they look at me up close. Maybe that's why I change my attitude. So that they don't focus on my looks and skin etc. I have feelings too. And I get hurt just like you do.
But who cares? Whose there for me?
Not a bloody soul.
Savor what you have. For you never know when you'll lose it.
-Every heart breaks the same, Every tear leaves a stain, can I just be the same?-
~A
