Everything

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He was everything
Now that sounds really cliche but he was.
He was light and sound he was taste and touch he was happiness and sadness anger and fear.
Everything that mattered.
To him at least to others and himself maybe not so much but to me
Everything.
I felt as though I knew everything about him. Everything that was worth knowing.
I'd been there through it all.
Sports games sleepovers dinners brunches reunions picnics day outings
Life.
We were family friends.
Emphasis on the word friends.
Our mothers knew each other. We'd been hanging out since 7th grade thanks to our mothers who thought we'd make great friends.
The only problem is that we are totally different.
Jared was loud and bositerous he was sarcastic and quick witted. He was harsh and blunt and maybe a little bit of an asshole. He said things without thinking. He didn't care what you thought or what you felt and he wasn't afraid of anything.
Evan on the other hand was quiet and reserved. He was shy and soft-spoken he always thought of others feelings before his own. He was caring and kind. And he cared way too much. And he worried about everything.
Evan admired Jared. He wished that he could be that confident. Wish that he was as smart and as cool as Jared. Wish that he could speak his mind once in a while and not be afraid.
Jared admired Evan. Sometimes he wondered what life would be like if he was a little nicer. If he let people in and thought about what he said before he said it. He wished that he could learn to live in silence.
Admiration.
That's all it was.
Both boys wanting to change themselves for the better. Nothing wrong with that right.
They didn't love each other of course.
Evan never sighed dreamily every time Jared put someone in their place.
Jared never blushed every time Evan stuttered.
Evan didn't wait for Jared to walk down the hall first so he could watch him.
Jared never bumped into Evan on purpose so he could relish the feelings of their bodies pressed together.
They never dreamed about each other.
Never wondered about what could be.
Because they were just friends.
In fact if you didn't know any better you would think that the two boys hated each other.
Jared gave Evan a ride to and from school everyday and wherever else he needed to go. Of course Jared always complained.
Evan didn't mind floating Jared a few bucks to go to Lush and buy bath bombs. Of course he always nagged Jared about it.
Because it was better this way.
It was easier this way.
Because if they were mean the other didn't suspect a thing.
They never ever wondered if the other boy liked them back. Because they knew the truth.
They knew that the other boy would never like them matter what.
And they wouldn't have it any other way.
But it's hard not to think isn't it?
When your riding on the bus or walking down the street.
When your standing in your kitchen or looking out the window.
When your laying in bed in the middle of the night and you glance over at the only picture you have of him.
And you smile sadly as you galnce at it. And the words are there on your lips.
"What if?"
And the boys did wonder.
They wondered a lot.
Is Jared's hair as soft as it looks?
How smooth was Evans skin?
What would it be like to hug Jared?
What would it be like to kiss Evan?
To hold Jared's hand?
To leave hickeys on Evans neck?
Well you get it.
And the two boys were often scared about the other.
Jared thought that all the time that Evan spent by himself wasnt good for him. He was quiet and his eyes were sad. He was super sensitive and the smallest thing could cause him to burst into tears. Although he had no proof Jared suspected that Evan was suicidal and depressed. And a world without Evan Hansen was not a world that Jared wanted to live in.
Evan suspected that Jared was an outsider. Sure he had a lot of friends but they just seemed to make fun of him and treat him like dirt. He was always so angry at the world and defensive around Evan. There were rumors that Jared ate the bath bombs that he bought which couldn't be good for his health. He had been going to anger management courses but he was convinced that he didn't have a problem and refused to talk about his feelings.
But they both were still afraid.
Because you see him and you like him and you want him.
But you know he can never be yours.
And opportunities pop up but you never act upon it because your to scared.
When you reach for them but then stop when your almost there and you walk away before he can turn around.
And by the time he does your long gone.
But that's all purley theoretical because your just family friends.
Empahsis on the word friends.
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I know this was short but I just wanted a little introduction before I got to the nitty gritty story
I drew topics from a hat and I got Kleinsen so enjoy!!!!!

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