with whiskey on our breath

xxiv| TOGETHER AS ONE

the next morning i was embarrassed
and scared as can be, thinking i scared you away
but you woke up and rolled over and kissed
those insecurities away

that night we sat in our spot on the porch
and you opened up for the first time about
your childhood, what lead you to the man
you were now, how you were terrified
your parents were looking down from
above, disappointed with who you've
become

you hated yourself, believed you were
a terrible human being, wondering why
you were still on earth when you didn't
deserve happiness

you confided in me, asked me to
keep stories of your past between
this night and i, and i made a pinky
swear to never repeat your hardships
and fails, and
give you a reason to toss our trust
out the window

(even now, i still wont utter a sound –
even for the sake of this poetry)

"i want you to understand i am damaged"

you consistently repeated to which i'd
squeeze your hand and tell you we all
were in our own broken way
then you laughed and showered me
in kisses when i told you i was equipped
with staples, glue (liquid and sticks),
and double sided tape

i couldn't be the one to fix you
no matter how much i wished i could
but i vowed to hold your hand until
you found your way

you felt disbelief and gulped the
rest of the bottle of jack while
you toyed with my fingers,

"after knowing all that,
you think you could be with
someone like me? someone
damaged, broken – "

before me, you weren't just a
thirty-two year old man
but just a boy who lost his
way and needed love to
get him by until he found his
meaning,

you didn't believe in yourself
but i believed in you – enough
for not just me but you too,

"no, because I don't think;
I know I can."