Sparks ✔️ EDITING

C H A P T E R 61

My grandmother might be crazy at times, she might talk too much, and she might be too clingy to family, but she has helped me so much and yesterday when she called me out for no chasing what I want, it stung.

I knew she said it out of love though, and she didn't want me to pass on an opportunity to be happy.

She saw something between Seamus and I, many people do, yet here I am, sitting on my bed, staring at a piece of jewellery that is now part of my daily routine to put on.

It's just Bella

I probably said that to everyone I know at this point. When I say that my name is Isabella, I immediately follow with either "it's Bella," or "it's just Bella,".

It's something I've grown up doing and it's something I'll continue to do. Isabella is my name, yes, but Bella is short and it might be common for other people named  Isabella to be called Bella, but I think it's a nickname for someone who could mean so much to that person.

So when I saw Seamus caught onto that, something pinged in my chest. He actually paid attention to engrave something so meaningful to me on a bracelet.

But yet, we aren't together.

He didn't have to do that, but a part of me is glad he did.

***

"Promise to call at least twice a day?" I asked Caden, who was now standing on the front porch with a few of his belongings that he forgot to put in the boxes.

"I promise," he groaned, having enough of hearing the same thing over and over again.

"Good, get good grades and throw wild parties," I laughed.

"Minus the party part," my mother interrupted.

"Of course, no parties," Caden agreed, then winked at me.

"I mean it Caden, I don't want to get a call from the college and have them saying that they kicked you out," she warned.

"I say, give it two weeks, they you'll Evie be the call," I joked.

"Really? I would've bet three days," Caden smirked and given me a final hug, followed by hugging my mother.

"Good luck!" I called, my brother getting in the car.

"Stay safe!" My mother added, wrapping her arms around herself.

"Love you both!" He replied, waving.

"As do I!" Grandmother concluded, making us all laugh.

Mother and I watched as the car drive down the street and disappeared into the distance.

"And then there were two," I whispered, leaning into my mothers side.

My mother then walked inside. I remained on the porch, I don't know what I was waiting for. Maybe for Caden to change his mind and come back or maybe something else. Something I'm not sure about.

Popping back into the house, I grabbed my car keys and called to my mother, saying I was going out for the day. Hearing a fate voice, I took that as I signal that she heard me and it was alright for me to go. Turning the piece of metal, the engine roared and I made my way to the hospital.

***

"You broke up with him?" Jasmine gawked.

"Gently, yes," I shrugged, putting my hand  to my head.

"Do you regret it?" She questioned, furrowing her brows.

"Oh, not at all, we're better off as friends," I laughed.

"So why do you look like your dog just died?" She wondered, leaning back on the pillow.

"Because I'm in a sticky situation," I admitted, covering my face.

"When are you not?" She chuckled.

I held out my wrist, making the bracelet visible. Her eyes widened as she observed the piece of jewellery.

"This is beautiful," she gushed, stroking the bracelet. "Wait-," she paused and stared at me. "Bella, please tell me this was from a guy who's name is not Jake," she begged.

"It's not from Jake but it's from a guy," I sang.

"Girl, you need to figure out what guys you want in your life, and which guys you want to let go," she stayed, sighing.

"I only have four guys in my life. One, being your boyfriend, one being my ex, one being my other best friend, and then there's Seamus," I explained, trailing off when I reached Seamus' name.

"Luce's brother?" She asked, her eyes widening again.

"Maybe," I smiled.

"Does Luce know?" She wondered.

"I haven't figured that out yet," I sighed.

"Does Seamus know you like him then?" She questioned.

"I don't even know if I like him," I defended.

"Shut up," she smacked my thigh. "You've been blushing ever since you mentioned his name and he obviously likes you if he gave you that," she said, signalling to the bracelet.

"He was just thanking me for helping Luce with his surprise party, that's all,"'I shrugged.

"I'd hate to see what he gets you when Your birthday comes round," she gawked.

"It's not that big of a deal," I shrugged, playing with the chain.

"How long did it take you to convince yourself of that?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"He and I are just friends," I groaned.

"I don't believe that for one second," she crossed her arms.

"That makes two of us."

"So you do like him!" She exclaimed, pointing a finger at me.

"Would it make I happy if I said yes?" I rolled my eyes, pushing her finger away from my face.

"Absolutely," he smiled as widely as possible.

"Fine. Maybe a part of me has feeling for him, but that's all," I admitted.

"You keep telling yourself that sunshine," she chuckled, shaking her head.

"I hate to interrupt but your physical training class starts in five minutes," a nurse informed.

"Talk with you later?" She asked, stretching her arms, waiting for a hug.

"I'll stop by," I stated, leaning down to hug her, then gathering my belongings.

"Say hi to Seamus from me," she winked.

"Shut up," I added, before leaving the room.

***

The tire by the river was swaying with the wind as I made my way to it. I haven't hung out here ever since the day i got the call from Caden about Joe. It seemed as if it was yesterday. I've made many memories at this spot this summer; Caden and I talked the day Joe arrived, Jake and I swam in the river, Payton and I got into a fight.

This river not only holds every memory I had when I was younger, it continues to cold memories that I made today, good or bad. Taking my usual spot on the tire, I opened up my new journal and decided to write an entry on the first blank page.

I've had the same journey ever since I was young. I've written many thing that were negative. All of them consisted of horrendous feelings, events, and words that helped me let go at the time. But as I grew up, I didn't have a journal that I could escape to because everything I wrote was not helpful through hard times. I needed comfort and some sort of positivity, but all I had were endless amounts of cruel words to rely on. Journals can't be about depression, anxiety, eating disorders, death, etc.; you need to write about world peace, happiness, love and excitement because those are the things you'll need when you have a bad day. You need a journal that you can escape to and not to be afraid of what you'll read when you open it. And so, this is my new journal.

This is me...