Sparks ✔️ EDITING

C H A P T E R 64

Mason and Luce seemed to like Edgewood. We finished up the orientation a few hours ago and they left with smiles on their faces, that counts as something, right?

Their date started as soon as I dropped them off as Mason's house. I won't lie, I felt a bit jealous when they skipped inside his house, not because I like Mason, but because I want that kind of relationship with someone.

I want to be that happy, hold hands with them and goof around in public. Something about their relationship seems real, even though it hasn't been long, at all. I want that...a real relationship.

Don't get me wrong, I don't regret being with Jake, but that was my fantasy. It was my dream to be in a relationship at the time and because of that, I expected so much and when I didn't feel what I imagined, my hopes were crushed.

It made the relationship feel fake and that wasn't fair for Jake...I wanted him to be happy and we were both happier as friends.

So, that's how I ended up outside of the Drake's house. I have been sitting in my car, trying to put together what u would say to Seamus. With Jake, it was much easier, we were already close friends and he already knew me.

It wasn't hard to confess my attraction to him because like I said before, I dreamt of my first boyfriend and I was desperate.

Seamus and I have bonded:we've talked past midnight, discussed personal issues, he has helped me through multiple obstacles, and I love joking and teasing with him. He's almost like a second Mason, but with greater feeling than just friendship.

My grandmother was right, I needed to admit to myself that maybe, just maybe Seamus could be the one and when I finally did, I big weight fell off my shoulders.

I've made plenty of mistakes. I've done soo many stupid things that I can't even remember, but all those mistakes helped me form who I am right now. And right now, I am hiding in my car because I'm too scared to face my feelings;I'm too scared to full-fill the promise.

For as long as I can remember, I dreamed of having my first kiss and the explosion that came with it, I have dreamed of waking up in someone's arms and being happy with that, and I dreamed of loving someone as much as I love my family.

When I told my grandma this, she made me promise to be careful with there wishes. She didn't want me to get hurt when I realize these are only fantasies. I'm not saying that these dreams can't come true, because they can, but if they don't, she didn't want my hopes to get too high.

When Seamus came along, I didn't think much of him. In fact, I just saw him as my friends brother. I expected him and I to have a brother-sister relationship, but then came the joking and teasing, and my emotions started acting up.

Every time I was near him, butterflies would fill my stomach. Yet, every time I felt this way, I ignored it because I was scared to admit that he could be the one I have dreamt about. All along he was the one who has succeeded into making me laugh, cry, smile and chase after my goals.

I have known him for less than I month and he has find more than Jake has done this whole summer. I don't want to compare the two; they're both such great guys, but something about Seamus makes sense. It's about time I get out of my stupid car and face him.

Walking to the front door, I wanted to run back and hide from everything. My grandmothers voice prevented me from achieving that. I could practically feel her breath on my neck and hear her famous saying, "you never know unless you try," repeating in my head.

Bringing my fist to the door, I gave it two pounds and patiently waited for an answer. My heart was beating out of my chest and I couldn't help but feel my hands go clammy. If this is what love feels like, do I really want it?