Male!Reader Inserts

2p!England X Male!Reader

//Wow. A lemon. Thaaaanks.
(Oh, a lame title too...)
//Seme!Reader finally! Yaaay!

The Baker's Man

You sighed as you sat at the Café, waiting for your boyfriend to get off of work. Currently, he was smiling and handing someone a blueberry muffin; how you wished his cute little dimples were directed at you... It wasn't really too boring sitting and waiting for him to finish work, you figured, since at least you'd get to see if anyone flirted with him. You knew from experience that even the cheesiest pickup line would make him blush, even if it wasn't from you. You sighed again, looking down at your drink which was long (cold/melted). Your reflection stared back up at you, and you turned to glare out the window instead, propping your head up on a hand. You didn't want him to see you so down; he was always talking about how your smile when he got off of work always brightened his day.
As you were staring out the window at nothing in particular, someone sat across from you. You turned to look at them and saw your ex, (ex/n). They smiled at you, their hair a bit longer since last time you'd seen them.
"Hey. You looked a bit lonely, and I happened to walk in..." (Ex/n) said, then trailed off. They raised an eyebrow and leaned over the table a bit. "Sorry about how I broke it off, (y/n). You look pretty tore up about it still, I think, so..."
You tuned them out, sighing once again and staring at the table. From a distance, one would probably think you were being lectured. Your thoughts turned around and around in your head, always ending up on the fact that Oliver might not be happy with you. Your ex was right; you were tore up, just not about breaking up with them. That had been almost a year ago, and they had cheated anyways. You loved Oliver now, to the point where you wondered if you could ever move on fully if he left you. You-
You were brought out of your thoughts by a hand being placed on yours. Your ex smiled at you sympathetically and tilted their head. "So, what do you think?"
"Hm? Sorry, I wasn't paying attention to that last part." You said, and they huffed.
"See? This is why I broke up with you in the first place. You're an awful listener, and a pretty lousy boyfriend too." They said, rolling their eyes. Then they asked, as if they hadn't just insulted you, "I was asking if you wanted to get back together?"
You frowned and shook your head. "No. Actually, I already have someone else."
"Oh really?" They asked, as if they didn't believe you. "Who? Or are they just conveniently 'not here'?"
"The guy behind the counter. The cute one with pinkish hair and freckles." You said, smiling at just mentioning him.
"What." They said flatly, then huffed. "There's no way! You can do a lot better than that. I mean, does he even feel good?! Cause he has like, no ass. If you need a reminder of what good is, just dump him and get back with me!"
"You're right (Ex/n). He doesn't feel good." You said, and your ex grinned as if they'd won a prize. Their face fell as you continued. "He's great. We haven't even had sex yet, but he's got me wrapped around his finger. I love him more than I think I'll ever love anyone else, and I haven't even seen him shirtless. You wouldn't understand that."
They looked utterly shocked, and they stood up angrily to try causing a scene. "Well then, I'm leaving!"
"Good." You said, keeping your calm. "I should get back to waiting on my boyfriend."
When they left, you looked back over at the counter to see that Oliver wasn't behind it. You looked around, but he was nowhere to be found. A little old lady who was sitting behind you tapped you on the shoulder.
"That boy you were talkin' about heard you, hun. He ran off cryin'. Poor thing didn't hear what you said after that... Too worried you didn't love him, I suppose."
Your eyes went wide and you quickly ran out the Café door, thanking the lady on your way out. You rushed home on foot, not even bothering to get in the car. He'd see you coming from a mile away in the rusty old slug-bug anyways. It took you about fifteen minutes to make it home, running like a madman. When you opened the door, you heard a commotion in your room. You walked down the hall to find your bedroom door thrown wide open, Oliver packing his things away in a suitcase.
"Babe, I-" You began, then winced when he flinched at the sound of your voice.
"Y-you... You hypocrite! Cheating b-bucket of slime!" He shouted, and you couldn't help but laugh softly. He refused to curse even now...
"Look, you got it all wrong! I don't even talk to (Ex/n) anymore. I have no clue how they knew I was there, but I swear there's nothing going on. I was waiting for you to get off of work Ollie."
"D-don't 'Ollie' me, you weasel." Oliver sniffled, although he had stopped packing. He looked up at you, a few tears rolling down his face. "I heard what you said. At the Café, you said that I-"
"But that wasn't all I said, Oliver! Look, there are cameras, right? Go back and look on them. Or ask the old lady that was sitting behind me!"
"Gladys?" Oliver asked, confused. He shook his head to clear it. "There's no way I'm going to my place of work with a puffy face."
"I'll go get a recording for you then." You offered, hoping he'd stay a little longer.
"I'll be gone before you get back, and you know that. You didn't drive the Beatle Buggie, or else I would've heard you pull up." He said, then glanced out the window to make sure. The Beatle Buggie is what you called your car. You had both agreed to call it that after you discovered your shared love for The Beatles.
"Ollie, please!" You begged, stepping closer to him. He glared and pulled out his pocketknife, something he always carried with him for protection.
"No. Not another step closer, you... You vomitous toad!" He said. You couldn't help but laugh, causing him to blush slightly. "What? What's so funny?"
"Vomitous Toad?" You chuckled, then leaned against the wall and grinned at him from across the room. "The neighbours are gonna think Francois broke in again."
He let out a little chuckle at the memory, then widened his eyes and fixed his face back into a glare. He crossed his arms. "Stop it. I'm mad at you."
He really was so adorable, even when he was threatening to leave. 'Maybe something is wrong with me.' You thought as you texted someone on your phone. 'I mean... Loving someone so much is insane, right?'
Oliver looked over at you and bit his lip. "Who, um... Who are you texting, Poppet?"
He didn't seem to notice the slip up, or how worried he was getting over who could be on the other end of the messages. You gave him a half smile and threw your phone across the room and onto the bed. "Go ahead and see for yourself. If it locked you out, the password is 'ILoveLondon'."
He looked up at you questioningly as he grabbed your phone, refusing to break eye contact for more than a few seconds. He scrolled through your messages, then frowned. "Wait. You-"
He looked up quickly, almost looking angry at what he saw. At around that time, Francois walked through the bedroom door and handed you a disk. "Lucky I still have all these blank disks. Otherwise, it would've taken a while."
You grinned and gave Francois the money you promised him, then put the disk in your DVD player. You turned to Oliver and ran a hand through your hair, smiling. "Just watch it, Hm? I promise, it's not what you think."