I'm consumed with fear right now. So much so that I dread tomorrow morning. My belly is twisting tightly. I bursted into tears, too, and I know I will again. I'm in this fear that I can't let go.
You are probably wondering, why. Why am I scared, why am I fearful for tomorrow. The explanation is simple, but isn't for me to say right now.
I fear right now of loosing people. I'm scared I'll loose friends. I'm scared people will start shifting, I'm scared that I'm not a good friend. I seem like it, but I'm not. I know that. I try, and I try, but I'm not.
I wish that tomorrow will never come. That tomorrow will just disappear, but then things will get worse instead of better. Fear. The one reason why I know I care for them.
I don't want sympathy. I don't want pity. I was my friends. Safe. Loved. And I want someone I can lean on. I have friends, yes I know. But I can't lean on them. I don't feel right. I'm independent, and I don't want to show my friends me crumble to the floor.
I'm scared of the outcome of tomorrow, I did so much wrong. I didn't finish homework I'm a class where my teacher already isn't fond of me. I didn't even read the book I'm supposed to, and I've proved I'm not the best friend I thought I was.
Some people may know. Figured it out. I don't care. I'm fearful for so many reasons, it's not even funny. I'm probably not gonna even be able to sleep. But Ill try. It's already late, though, so that sucks. So then I'll be going. Thanks for listening to my rant, have a good night, and good life.
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RandomIf anyone needs advice and DM me. I'll either put it in this book, or just give personal advice. This book is advice and my personal experiences and kinda what I like and dislike. Almost like a diary, if you want to think of it like that, dear reade...
