Curious Business (18+)

Unexpected Grain

There were too many ideas planted in my head. I didn't ask for that, but now my mind was spinning. Did I love my job? No, but they did pay me well. Did I really give up my dreams of painting? No, I still could and I never even made any plans to do anything about it. Was Daniel offering to move me to LA? I hope not. If he was that would mean that I need to provide him an answer. Should I tell Elias what he offered, if it even was an offer? And why was Elias asking about my job? I have a hard time trusting people's intentions.

I ignored Daniel's offer for now, but the idea of being able to be content in my career kept peaking my interest.

I spent the rest of my week at work, daydreaming. A knock on my office door snapped me out of it.
"Clara? May I come in?" The general manager of the hotel walked in to my office. Oh no.

"Hi Andy! How's it going?"

"Very well actually. Do you have moment to talk about some things?"

"Uh, yeah, absolutely." What did he have to talk about? I wasn't overly perky, but I was still doing my job and things were still going well, I thought.

"We want to promote Lorin."

"Wow! Thats great! She deserves it!"

"to your position." Andy added

"Oh?" I paused not knowing where he was going with that.

"Which means we need to talk to you about something."

"I kind of figured." I said sharply. 

"You really have been doing a fantastic job for the event center here, no for the entire hotel! Which is why we want to offer you a position up in sales. Routine hours, only the occasional Saturday, no one to report to you. Increased pay.." Andy paused. "I dont mean to throw this on you, you can think about it...but we are really excited about this opportunity for you."

"Wow, I don't know what to say. Thank you so much, but I'm confused, I have absolutely no sales experience?"

"Yes, uh, well we have a great training program!"

Something wasn't adding up.

"What happens if I don't take that job? Do I still have a job here?" I asked bluntly, no longer wanting to play the game that Andy was.

"Well, uh, probably. But like I said we really want to promote Lorin, you agreed even. Look, we love you here, but we are in between a rock and a hard place with events budget. The best we can do is move you and your pay to a different budget, your pay grade is just too high for your current position and with the renovations coming up, we can't afford to give you another raise for at least another 5 years."

"Oh." I frowned. "I guess I'll have to think about it then, when do you need to know by?"

"By Monday." Andy said, shame in his voice. 

"So, I accept a promotion that I'm not qualified for or I lose my job?" I asked for genuine clarification.

"Thats correct. I am sorry. We had no warning of these changes at all."

"I'll let you know by Monday" I said calmly. Andy got up and left my office.

It was like all the questions I had, had been answered. I didn't want a sales job, so I'll just say no and start painting and start...starving. I started to panic, my palms itched, oh no, I was going to cry. The hot tears rolled down my face, but I made no noise, my face made no movement. Time had frozen and all I could do was stare into space and imagine my beautiful apartment full of brown cardboard boxes. I decided it was fine to tell Andy that I was going home. All this new information has made me feel ill.

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I quickly opened my phone as I walked around the city, aimless. Aimlessly wandering the financial district, I continued to silently sob. I called Elias.

"Clara? I'm working still."

"Please come get me." I said solemnly, void of all emotion.

"Where are you?" 

It was the only question he asked. 15 minutes later, he pulled up to the curb, where I was sitting alone, staring at the dirt and sand that had gathered there. I had on a red shift dress, that was even blinding me at that moment. I knew he was there, but I couldn't bare to acknowledge another human.

"Clara. I'm here." Elias said in a tone that I couldn't quite figure out. Whatever, I had no energy to figure it out.

"Clara." He said again, briskly.

I continued to lay my head in my hands staring at the same grain of sand.

"I am just like that grain of sand. I could look away and not be able to point out the same one again. Totally disposable." I sighed.

"Stand up, Clara."

I looked at him, exposing my red burning eyes. I stood up and filled my lungs with the crisp cool air.

"Can we please go home?" I asked quickly.

"Yes, come, get in." Elias walked me to my side of the car.

That was it, he didn't ask questions, he didn't probe, he didn't say a word, but he looked at me concerned, his brow furrowed. Still, he stayed silent,  driving faster than usual to his apartment; home.