LOOSE ➶ « l.s. »

45: GONE

« HARRY »

My parents asked about Louis, to which I answered that he simply went elsewhere, and no longer needed us. Of course, it didn't help that he came that night knocking on our door. I sat in my bed, doing the last of my school work for the day. Signing my name at the top corner of the page, I placed my books onto my desk for the next day.

As I made way down the stairs, chilled air tickled at the tip of my nose, indicating the door had been opened. With furrowed brows, I looked over to see my mum speaking with someone at the door. Attempting to slide passed them, my mother called for me, to which I immediately stiffened when I saw who it was at the door.

My mother left Louis and I alone by the door, making me silently curse her as I narrowed my eyes at him, "What are you doing here?" I asked him, "You have got to stop seeking out for me so mu—"

"You told me to come back when I had something important to say, and that's what I'm here for" he told me, making my shift in curiousity, "Can I come in?"

I slowly nodded, opening the door just enough for him to enter. My parents were upstairs in their bedroom, leaving the bottom floor to ourselves. I asked Louis if he would want some tea, to which he hesitantly nodded as he brought his hands into his jacket pockets. As I set the kettle on the stove, Louis came up from behind me, his fingertips gently moving the hair behind my neck to bring his lips to. I breathed in deeply, debating on whether to push him away or not.

"I'm so sorry–" he said softly to me, "–for being a coward and runnin' away when you needed me to save you"

I turned around, looking to him as the water boiled behind me, "I don't need your saving–" I began, "–I need your reliability"

Louis inhaled deeply, nodding to me—and I knew he had been avoiding telling me something. I leaned forward, bringing my lips to his, "I can't do this" I whispered to him when I pulled away, "The school already thinks ill of me, and I can't have myself believing it's true"

"But it is, Harry" he said to me, "You go on about how much you love me—and you can't even tell yourself that you're attracted to men—"

"Louis, stop" I snapped, making him quickly go silent, "The only man I've ever found myself attracted to was you, and you seduced me into it" I began to explain, "I do not have the same circumstances you do—I like women"

Louis looked away, pursing his lips before finding something to say, "If I were a girl, would you treat me the way you do?" he asked me, making me furrow my eyebrows, "I know the way you treat chicks, Harry. As if they're nothin' more than somethin' to pleasure you—and I know that's not what I am to you"

"Of course not" I said to him, "No girl has ever made me feel the way you do"

"Perhaps you haven't met the right one then" he said to me, making me look at him in confusion.

"What are you talking about? I don't want to meet anyone el—" I said to him, the whistling of the kettle interrupting our conversation.

I turned the stove off in irritation, bringing out two mugs with tea bags from the cupboard. Pouring out the boiling water, a splash of it hitting my finger, and making me curse out in frustration. "Let me" Louis mumbled softly, bringing his hands around the kettle to pour out into the mugs.

I stepped away, watching Louis stir the tea bags in the hot water. Handing me my cup, he leaned back against the counter, and watched me take a soft sip. Louis looked to me as I drank, making me glance up at him over my cup, "What?" I asked him.

"Just lookin' at you" he said to me, finally taking his first sip from his cup, "I want to memorise your face"

"You see me everyday" I said to him.