LOOSE ➶ « l.s. »

57: THOUGHTS

« HARRY »

"What does the moon mean?" Samantha asked me as we lied naked in her bed under the sheets, her fingertips running over the skin of my wrist.

I watched as she fumbled with my skin, bringing my nose to breathe in the rose scent of her hair, "It was meant to remind me of someone special" I explained to her, "They have the sun on their wrist"

"Is it someone back home?" she asked me, looking up to meet my gaze.

"You could say that" I replied, leaning down to brush my lips against hers.

Pulling away, I looked into her green eyes and pushed away a strand of her bright orange hair behind her ear, "Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?" I asked her, trailing my thumb from freckle to freckle on her cheeks.

Samantha shrugged, "Once or twice" she giggled out.

It was nearing the end of August, and all I could find myself to ever think about was Samantha in my bare arms. Her skin was as pale as porcelain, and it always felt like ice crystals to the touch. She always seemed to be home alone since her entire family had worked in the diner, to which I was happy to say I would join. Every morning, I woke at five o'clock in the morning to drive into town, and take the first shift. Samantha would then come in with her sister at ten o'clock with what would be my breakfast, and a peck on the lips which always tasted like mint from her chewing gum. I'd be out by eleven o'clock in time to catch up on my sleep, and be at Samantha's by noon until the sun set.

It was around the time in which I had to decide where I'd be going to school, and of course Samantha had altered my opinion on where to go—but I still couldn't help but to dream of going to Oxford. I sat up from the mattress, the covers sliding down my bare chest as I rubbed my face with the palms of my hands. Samantha looked to me with furrowed eyebrows, sitting up to bring her lips to the back of my shoulder whilst she asked me what was wrong. I turned to her, pursing my lips before speaking.

"I start school in less than a month" I explained to her, watching as she laughed nervously and nod.

"Yeah—you're going to Berkeley" she explained to me, wrapping the covers around her thin body as I stood up to get dressed.

Sighing out softly, I sat back on the bed to lace my legs through my trousers, "I don't know anymore" I said to her.

Samantha flinched in confusion, clearing her throat out in small offence, "What do you mean you don't know?" she asked me, "Why wouldn't you want to go to Berkeley?"

"Sam–" I began with a soft sigh, "–I just don't really believe Berkeley is the right place for me—" I explained.

"Well, there's plenty of other places—like San Francisco State, o–or Golden Gate College" she told me, her eyes roaming around anything in the room other than myself.

I breathed out softly, bringing a hand to the back of my neck, "Notice how the only schools you've mentioned are in San Francisco" I pointed out, seeing her look back in both confusion and worry.

"Well—where else would you go?" she asked.

Licking my lips, I stood back up from the mattress to pace over the carpet. I turned to Samantha still bare under the silk sheets, "I haven't declined my offer to Oxford" I quickly said.

"Oxford's in a completely different country" Samantha laughed out, looking to her palms before she spoke, "You're not saying what I believe you are" she shook her head.

She stood from the bed, the sheets peeling off her naked body as she reached for her clothes, "It's an amazing school, Sam–" I attempted to convince her, "–with amazing programs, and in an amazing place"