LOOSE ➶ « l.s. »

38: BREAK

« LOUIS »

I hadn't known what Harry wanted. It was as if he himself also couldn't figure out what to do with us either, and that had begun to terrify me. No matter how unpredictable we were, no matter how unstable, what always kept me going was knowing we wanted each other. I sat silently in the passenger seat of Harry's car as we made way back to school, and I felt my nerves become higher and higher the closer we got. Harry and I haven't seen Brett or Liza since New Year's Eve, and I feared what would happen if we did.

Harry and I walked up the stairs to enter the school, but just before we went through the doors, I pulled him aside, and away from all the other arriving students. Raising an eyebrow to me, he waited for what I had wanted to say.

"When we see Brett and Liza–" I began, watching him tense up, "–you and I are goin' to get angry—we're goin' to want to do somethin' bad" I explained, "When we feel this, I want us to look at one another, and know it will be okay—"

"How the fuck will it be okay, Louis?" Harry asked me, poison in his tone.

I breathed in deeply, looking up to him with solemn eyes, "Liza should know what happened" I told him, seeing his muscles slightly relax, "Then we'll leave it up to her to decide what will be done"

Harry pursed his lips, looking around to make sure we weren't being seen, then leaned down to kiss me with all the passion we've lacked for the passed few weeks. Looking down to me, a small smile grew on his cheeks, "I love you" he muttered.

The feeling I would get when Harry told me those three words would discomfort me, and make me angry—but when he said it now, after my doubts with us, it was as if my wounds were being tended to, as if I never had a thing to worry about again. I gave Harry the smallest of smiles before we went into the school.

The day went by as it usually did, and after moving in with Harry, I didn't see my friends until the break we were given in the morning between classes. I met Li at a table we've never sat at near the courtyard, lighting a cigarette between my lips as I greeted him.

"I haven't seen you around" he said whilst watching me sit across from him.

"You saw me a couple weeks ago–" I told him, "–at the party"

"Yeah, and no one knows where the hell you went" he chuckled out, "You or Styles"

As if he had been eavesdropping until his name was mentioned, Harry walked over to us with a bottle of water in hand, and sat himself next to me, "Louis or me, what?" he asked as he adjusted himself on the bench.

"Li was just wonderin' where we went on New Year's Eve" I explained to him, seeing his jaw straighten, "I was just about to tell him how much of a buzz* it was, so we went into town instead"

Harry smiled nervously, nodding to Li as he took a swig of his water. "How did you lot get home?" Li asked us.

"We found our way" Harry replied in a soft, raspy voice.

Soon Zee spotted us, going on about how he had to take the same classes again for the new semester since he had failed them prior. "Don't worry about it Joseph–" Li began with a hand on his shoulder, "–at the rate you're goin', you'll surely graduate at forty years old"

Zee narrowed his eyes at Li and I for laughing, and although I snickered, I couldn't help but feel my heart drop—because I had to retake many of my classes as well. I never cared about being held back or flunking twelfth grade before meeting Harry—but seeing the way he works, I didn't want to be an embarrassment and not graduate along with him.

My thoughts were interrupted by an exclamation, and a hand grasping onto my shoulder, "That New Year's party was somethin' wild, wasn't it?" Brett hollered out, shoving himself in between Harry and I.