"what is thy problem?" Ashton asked Michael.
"um well okay sotodaycalumwastalkingtoanewkidandiranuotohimandthenewkidisreallycutebutithinkimademyselflookstupidandnowiprobabkydonthaveacandworhhim" Michael said quickly.
"well Mikey, it looks like without this boy you'd have one less one less problem." Ashton said jokingly.
"ha ha but seriously I think I screwed my chances!!" Michael said whining.
"yeah you probably did." Ashton said.
"HOW COULD U SAY DAT NOW MY DREAMS ARE RUINED AND I SHOULd JUST DROP OUT OF SKOOL!!!!" Michael flailed around looking like a dry fish having a seizure.
"I was just kidding man, chill out." Ashton said looking down at the flopping Michael.
"DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK!!" Michael screamed.
"should u relax. when u see him in school get him in the janitors closet and ride him all the way to Canada." he said helping Michael off the floor.
"but there's nothing in Canada." Michael said.
"exactly." Ashton simply replied, walking away.
RING
RING
RING
RING
RING
RING
RINGITY DING!
Michael picked up his phone and Calum was yelling at him.
"DO YOU THINK MY CHANCES WITH LUKE ARE GOOD BC I REALLY WANT TI RIDE HIS ASS TO CANADA!" Calum screamed.
Wtf is up with riding the new hot kids ass to Canada?
"well that's going to be a problem bc I want to ride him like a horse and I plan on doing it first." Michael said very cockyliy.
"NU UH!" Calum said.
"UH HUH." Michael replied.
"NU UH!"
"UH HUH"
"NU UH"
"UH HUH"
"NU UH"
"UH HUH NOW I S2G I WILL GET MY 9.5 INCH DICK UO HIS ASS BEFORE YOU HET YOUR 8.8 ONE EVEN NEAR HIS FULLUMPTIOUS BOOTY" Michael yelled.
"Look at that booty, show me the booty" Calum said
"don't you ducking dare." Michael growled.
"Give me the booty, I want the the booty
Back up the booty, I need the booty
I like the booty, oh what a booty"
"STOP!"
"Shaking that booty, I saw the booty
I want the booty, lord what a booty
Bring on the booty, give up the booty
Loving the booty, round booty
Down for the booty, I want the booty
Hunting the booty, chasing the booty
Casing the booty, getting the booty,
Beautiful booty, smoking booty
Talk to the booty, more booty...
Fine booty"
"CALUM STOP!"
"All about the booty, big old booty
Serious booty, amazing booty
I'll take the booty, where is the booty
Stare at the booty, walking the booty
Touching the booty, whos got the booty
Grabbing the booty, rubbing the booty
Loving the booty, hugging the booty
Kissing the booty, holding the booty
Watching the booty.... Kicking the booty"
"HOW ARE YOU REMEMBERING THIS!?"
"Sleeping booty, screaming booty
Harder booty, softer booty
Sweeter booty, sour booty
New booty, used booty
Who's booty, sister's booty
Your mama's booty
Cookin booty, mean booty
Good luck with the booty"
"INTERROBANG!"
"what?" Calum said being caught off guard.
"I WILL BE THE FIRST TO INTERROBANG LUKE SO JUST FUCK OFF THERE CAL PAL!"
"you do know interrobang is a form of punctuation right?" he said.
"YES AND LUKE WILL BE SO EXCITED YET QUESTIONING IT AT THE SAME TIME." and with that, Michael threw his phone at the tv across the room.
****
this is really fun to write ((:
YOU ARE READING
problem // clemmings
Фанфикшн"dude what the fuck" warning: this story contains v much sass, sarcasticness and the word fuck. it may be offensive to some readers. but like seriously I say fuck a lot and it has nothing to do with their personalities whatsoever it's just basicall...
