my life growing up has always been hard. my outside family didn't care much about us, so all we had was each other. my mom, my dad, max, and me. oh, and my dog too.
when my dad died, it was like losing your pointer finger. you still have other fingers, but that one was the most important one. it was the one that helped you the most. the one you needed the most.
when i was 7, 2 months before my dad passed, he talked to me about girls. i think he knew he was dying, so he wanted to make sure someone told me.
"when you meet a girl, and she makes you go crazy, you find yourself up at night, thinking of ways to talk to her. thinking about what you're gonna do when you see her. that's love peter. when a simple woman can bring you so much happiness without even trying. when you feel your heartbeat accelerate. that's how i felt with your mom. i hope, and i pray that you find that." he said.
i was just 7 when he told me that, so i didn't think anything of it.
but ever since i met bree, those words have been coming in and out of my mind. there's a check mark next to everything he said.
what if i'm falling in love with her?
that thought terrified me. not necessarily love itself, but someone being in love with me. someone loving me for all that i am. accepting all my flaws. i was scared; for someone to understand my situation at home, basically raising my little brother. i didn't know how to love someone else. i'm terrified to do this without my dad.
i was scared to death.
~~~
i walked into bree's house on her birthday. i had a little box in my hand, and i greeted her mom. she was in the kitchen making bree a special breakfast, so i walked in and hugged her, and said hello. she left to go wake bree up, then quickly came downstairs.
i think i waited at the bottom of the stairs for forever. that's what it felt like at least. i was so nervous. i felt my palms sweat, and blood rush to my cheeks as i saw her step down each step.
she was wearing my jacket.
she looked amazing. my heart began to race tremendously.
i hugged her and said happy birthday. we talked for a bit, then made our way to school.
today was the day. today was the day i would ask bree to be my girlfriend.
