Atheism: The Ultimate Guide (COMPLETED)

35. What Do You Want From Me?

Hey guys, it's Halley. Let's have some real talk. 

I'm used to getting criticism and hate. I'm used to angry PM's, hateful messages in books I'm tagged in, insulting comments, a barrage of hate on my message board, I've seen and heard it all. I can't even count the number of people I've blocked/who've blocked me. It seems I'm public enemy no.1 on this website nowadays (which kinda fuckin' rocks). 

It used to hurt me, back in the old days when my book was just getting started back in 2015. Now, I'm completely turned off by any negative feedback I get because I've adopted an attitude that's saved me time after time - I literally don't give a fuck. I'm 21, in college, working part-time, and also have my fair share of issues just like everyone else. 

I like to get blackout drunk at parties and smoke weed watching cartoons with my best friends on Friday nights. I like casual sex and rock n' roll. I have OCD, anxiety, and mild depression. 

Why am I making a chapter about this? Why am I telling y'all this personal information?

I want y'all to know I'm human. 

Your hate speech and insults don't bother me, but I'm worried people think I'm some sort of monster that's out to cause trouble and gives no regard for anyone other than herself. 

I'm not a saint, but I'm not the devil either. 

Here's the thing. When religious people make books making comments about atheism that seem brazen or bold, no one reacts. People take it as "okay that's fine" and move on. But the second an atheist comes out with bold and negative comments about religion, all hell breaks loose and I might as well be Lucifer herself. 

In the olden days, I could be publicly executed for saying what I'm saying now. 

Nowadays, we have free speech and I can share my views. Lately, it feels so restricting because every chapter I write gets negativity from every angle and it seems I can't make a chapter without being bombarded with hate and backlash.

I need your opinions. Is what I'm writing truly so evil that it deserves all of the hate, insults, and negativity I get? 

I find it funny when people call me names, but it gets repetitive after a while. Just for shits and giggles, this is an incomplete list of the names I've been called:

-bitch

-demon 

-racist 

-sexist

-hypocrite 

-idiot 

-stupid

-egotistical

-freak

-religious discriminator 

-bastard 

-possessed

-persuaded by Satan

-bigot 

-liar 

-brainwashed

-rude

-bitchy

-controlling 

-blasphemer 

I could go on and on and on and on...

As Christians, I would have expected more from you guys. I'm going to give you a very honest and brutal opinion:

A lot of my negative views have been directly influenced by many Christians who are hateful I meet on Wattpad. 

Congratulations! You guys helped shape my negative views on your own religion. 

But here are the questions I need answered:

1. In a perfect world, what would you want me to do with this book?

2. If I wrote any more chapters, what would you want them to include?

3. If I wrote any more chapters, what would you want them to exclude? 

4. Have any future chapter ideas for me?

That's all. I just wanted to have some real talk, and I hope we have many more "good" times together in the future with more chapters I make. I love this book, and I love the opportunities it has given to spread my views. 

Also, I've successfully converted three people as of last week!!

Ciao, for now ;)

I love (a select few of) you guys! <3