Deep Brown Eyes | N. AMARO | Law & Order SVU

C H A P T E R | 1 6

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I stop the car a few streets away from Erin's place and I just stay there, trying to let all my thoughts fade away.

I'm pretty sure that Harrison Becker was the police officer who raped me eleven years ago. For years I thought that I forgot his face, but this morning when I saw the spoken portrait in the office, I realize that I sill remember every detail of him. Who could forget it?

Hank tried to convince me to press chargers, he told me he would help me to do it, that he was going to be with me in that journey. I thought that I could heal by myself, I thought the best for me was to just keep moving on and someday I would over it. I liked to think that I was strong.

The thing is, that if I had had press charges against him, Alena, nor Jane and Summer wouldn't be passing through all of this. I've never liked to play the victim, but I just can't help to think that is my fault.

And then is Hank and Alvy thinking he's a saint and that is a good cop, that only makes me angrier. Harrison knows how to pretend to be a good man. I mean, he convinced me to go with him.

I sight and I took the steering wheel, I don't wanna scream even though I need it. But when I close my eyes and the pictures of that early autumn night come back to me, I realize that I'm tired of all the slepless nights, of all the nightmers, I'm sick of going back there again and again.

So, I open my eyes. I decide that I won't let him win. Not again.

So I star the car and drive to Hank's place.

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"Put the gun down, it's me" I say when I nock the door. When I lived with him, he usted to do that, and I know he still does it.

"What happen?" He asks before the door is open, he moves to let me come inside "And your keys?"

"I leaved them in Erin's"

"You're staying with her?"

"Just tonight, Amaro is there but I need to talk to you"

"About what?"

"Do you remeber what I told you when you took me out of the streets?" I ask him, taking a seat on the sofa just like he does.

"A cop had you in an apartment for three days, yes" he says, nodding.

I remain silence for a few seconds, I still don't know how to tell him. 

"You know what I think about Harrison Becker?"

"That he's guilty"

Now, we both remain silence.

There's no need to wait a lot of time when I see how Hank's face changes and I know that he understood what I said. I can see how he starts to get mad. He looks at me, I think he can't ask me directly, so I just nod.

"It was him?" He aks but I know he already know the answer, I can tell that he only gets angrier with every second.

"It's him"