"I'm really scared."
Of what?
"The things that I'm feeling right now. I'm scared of waking up in the morning and I'm scared of falling asleep. I'm scared of leaving the safety of my bed. I'm scared of the thoughts that invade my head when I'm quiet and I'm scared of spilling my feelings when I talk. I'm scared of how terrible my life seems and I'm scared of how terribly lonely I feel. I'm scared of how tempting the end seems. I'm scared of how I have to force myself to enjoy the things that I always looked forward to. I'm scared of how nauseating the smell of mom's fried chicken is, of how repulsive my favorite chocolate bar looks. I'm scared of how difficult it has become for me to finish a book, how I keep reading the same page but the joy and serenity that comes with reading is missing, how desperately I keep trying to remember what it felt like to lose myself- between the pages and- into a world where my sadness doesn't exist, how every word is a stabbing pain in my head and in my heart. I'm scared of the uncertainty that every morning brings. I'm scared of the power my emotions have over my mind and body. I'm scared of how easily everything is spilling over the edge. I'm scared that the dam I've been trying to hold back, will break and I'll have no control over it. I'm scared of how tempted I am to close my eyes and just let go."
YOU ARE READING
The word spill of a messed up mind.
PoetryAs the title suggests, its basically just a bunch of poems or snippets that pop up in my head. ❤ You are that best selling poetry I never got to write, but could only read and fall in love in love with. ❤
