Insane

Chapter 7

Harry's POV

"I need you."

The words rolled of my tongue smoothly. A phrase I had become so accostum to, yet it felt so forgien all at the same time. I haden't meant to say those words, it just slipped past my lips, leaving me stunned at my own actions. The three simple words hung low in the atmosphere, causing a thick tension to lay on our shoulders.

My head still bowed down, staring at the disturbing, dirty cement floor. I waited for her to do something, anything. But she didnt. She stood there quietly with wide eyes, probably just as shocked as I was. I wanted to hear her voice and tell me that everything was alright but the tuth was, nothing was alright. He had- I had- We had attacked her. Which was exactly what I was trying to avoid. I was beyond furious with the both of us but I had to pull myself together and focus on Anna. I couldn't let her go, not again. Painful memories flooded through my head, leaving me feeling hopeless and enranged.

Guilt washed over my tense body as I remember the last time I said those same exact words. My hands balled into tight fists making my knuckles turn white. I tried to push the saddening thoughts to the side, and rid them from my dark mind. I didn't want to think about the past, but my mind said otherwise.

*flashback*

"Harry, stop!" Anna screamed.

Shit, she caught me.

I didn't bother to turn around to face her knowing it would only make me feel worse than I already did. I knew if I turned around what I would see. She would have red, tear stained cheeks and a dissaproving scowl, noting me of my wrong doing. I had seen that face too many times and had been in this situation too many times before. I knew I should've stopped from the last time she caught me, but I just can't. This is my drug, my addiction. It gives me this high, and makes me feel powerful, like I was finally incontrol over something for once. But over it all it make me feel something.

I had forgotten how to feel such a long time ago, the only thing I had was this void of dull numbness. And there were only to things in this revolting world that could fill this dreary space; Anna and killing.

Thats is if you could even call it killing, it was more of a torture. I loved the feeling of ending someones life, watching the last bit of light of their leave their paralyzed, watery eyes. The best part was watching them beg for their pathetic lives. But little did they know I was actually doing them a favor, I was helping leave this vile world. I inhaled their painfilled screams, satisfying my every need. The sound of the pain I had inflicted on them coming back as loud, sloppy sobs. I fed off that sound.

But what intreged me the most was the blood. The bright red crimson slik that would pour out of the newly cut flesh. How it trickled down their pale, lifelss limbs onto my large, blistered hands. It had this effect on me I couldn't explain. It was the final gesture that sealed the deal, that I had really hurt another living being, and that thought alone drove me into a frenzy. I needed more.

But my crimes weren't clean and straight forward. They weren't like your average murder, no, they were endless and gruesome. Some people would call what I did sick and deranged, where as some would call me twisted and distruded. But one thing was for sure, I wasn't your average serial killer. I was beyond that, I was beyond mad. I was completley and totally insane.  

Although being insane is defined as being in a state of mind that prevents normal perception, behavior, or social interaction: being seriously mentally ill. 

But you see the thing is, I brought the word 'insane' a whole new meaning, by no means was I mentally ill. Yes, my mind was filled with dark, demented thoughts, but I still managed to go out into society and put on a fake smile to impress people. Leaving them completly oblivious to the fact I was an unstable psychopath. A ticking time bomb waiting to explode at any second. 

I could interact and social with people just fine; on the outside. From the outside I looked like any other normal twenty-year old. I did everything any other sane young adult would do. I would go food shopping, pay my bills and go work every weekday from 8am to 8pm. I seemed completly fine to the untrained eye of the average person. But it's what I did behind closed doors that would make your skin crawl.

And so because of the horrorific crimes I commited behind these for walls is why I didn't have much friends. I never let anyone in within my home in fear I wouldn't be able to control the monster within. But there was something about Anna. She was different.

"Harry! I thought you said you stopped!" Her words choppy and short, pulling me out of my sinful thoughts.

'"I thought I did too."

"Harry, I need you to stop." Her tone sounding more calm and stern than it did only moments before.

"And I need you." I said in a monotone. "I need you to know that, ok? I need you to know I'm trying my best, b-but I just can't."

"You can't what?"

"Stop." My answer was once again short and blunt, not wanting to start an agrument.

"And why is that?"

"It's because you are scared of me."

She scoffed at my words, "Harry, I am not scared of you." But I could sense the hint of doubt in her voice. She was afraid of me.

"Don't lie to me, Anna, you are scared to death of me. But even if you aren't afraid of me, then why don't you love me? Why try and change me, why not change yourself! Are you scared of me or what I do?" I tried not to raise my voice but it was too late, my blood was already boiling in my viens. I could feel the anger bubbling up from underneth my skin. "Can't you see I wanna be normal, and that I'm I trying my very best to reframe from doing things like this for you. I really am trying to stop killing but I just can't, Anna! I thought that once someone like you came along everything would change!"

"Someone like me? What is tha-"

I cut her off before she could finish her sentence, "Someone I love." My words leaving her speakless, and her body to frozen in place.

I began to clean up the horrific mess I created knowing she most likely wouldn't respond to my heart felt confession. I picked up the blood cover tools and slowly walked over to the rack on the wall where I kept them, placing them one by one in the correct order.

"You love me?" Her voice soft and shaky. A small smile formed on my lips knowing I made her nervous. I turned around for the first time since she entered the basement, to see her beaming beautiful face radiating a bright red blush.

"With all my unhinged heart."

*end of flashback*

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