The Ringmaster's Revenge

The Ringmaster's Revenge: Phase Fifteen

Phase Fifteen

46 hours until the Ringmaster’s Revenge

Grift

Grift screamed his throat raw before crumpling to the ground.  He buried his face in the mud, until his burning lungs forced him up, then hugged his knees for comfort.  He’d killed Aviraz.  Pushed him too hard.  Hurt him too often.  He’d refused to acknowledge that the shade was cracking until he’d really cracked.

Worst of all, Grift had known ever since their first night together that Aviraz was mad.  Hadn’t he started attacking people immediately?  Hadn’t he turned his self-loathing on Tibold, who he had ripped to pieces as savagely as an animal?  Hadn’t Grift seen the horrible things Aviraz had been forced to do and how it tore him from inside?  Anyone would be nuts after what he’d seen and done.  But still Grift had pressed him on, further blurring the line between reality and madness with his constant demands.  And how could he have failed to feel the shade’s sorrow when he’d commanded to be taught to hop?  Especially, when the day Aviraz had taught his son was so fresh in their joined minds?  A raw memory filled with pride, devotion, and love and all Grift had thought of was how to take advantage of it.

He moaned and cried, mashing the mud with his fists.  Kicking at rotting cornhusks.  How could he have been so selfish?  He’d murdered Aviraz!  Yet… yet the necklace was still wrapped firmly around the boy’s neck.  Grift rubbed his face and took a look around.  The bits of shadow had gone and possibly faded forever, or maybe just regrouped elsewhere.  Grift stood to search the field on foot and eventually his shuffling took him back to the rabbit hole, where he thought he heard a whisper.  Careful not to touch the rabbit blood, he leaned over to listen.

“Mahina.  Mahina.  Mahina.  Ma-hi-na.  I killed our boy.  I killed him.  I killed him…”

“Aviraz?”

“Mahina.  Mahina.  Mahina.  Ma-hi-na…”

To keep from falling over while straining to listen, Grift knelt near the entrance.  “Please, stop saying that.  You’re wrong.  You didn’t kill Badru.  Prince Lycoris did.  He forced you and you tried really hard to stop yourself.  You burned, even.  Aviraz, you didn’t have any choice.  Even your son knew that.”

“Master.  Master.  Master.  Ma-ha-ster.”

Grift choked back a sob.  “I’m sorry.  So sorry.  I shouldn’t have reminded you.  I should have seen it sooner.  I should have done something.  I made an awful mistake.  Is there anything you…? If you want to be…”

“There is only one thing I want.  One thing.  One thing.”

“To be free?  The book?  I can give you that.”

“To end.  Order me to die.  It’s all I ask and all I ever wanted.  Please.”

“I can’t do that.  I won’t,” said Grift, backing away from the desperate shade.  He repressed the urge to yell at Aviraz, whom he thought to be acting rather cowardly for a steely cold-blooded warrior.  Though the pathetic request did give him an idea.  A great one if it worked.  “But I do have orders for you.  Last orders; I command you, Aviraz, to stop worrying over the past and the things you had no control over.  I order you to focus on the memories of happy times with your family.  Badru was your son, not your victim.  So remember that too.  And all that good stuff.  Mahina’s hair.  Your daughters’ smile.  Your son’s face.  Never forget that junk you loved.  And don’t forget the good guy you once were, or Lycoris wins.  Cause it’s just like you said; the hardest battle you’ll ever fight is with yourself.”  The shade said nothing in response, which Grift found encouraging.  “You are not mine anymore.  I free you.  Your time was served and I hope you can forgive me for making you serve it.”