When Crossing The Tracks-Sweet Pea

49

You've run upstairs to grab your cell phone from the bedside table. Swinging the bedroom door open, it takes a second for your eyes to adjust to the dark. That's when you see it. A looming shape in the corner of the room. You freeze. Adrenaline courses through you. Your heart is beating so fast you can feel it through your chest. Your muscles tighten. This is it. In the corner of your mind, you always knew creatures existed, and here is one now, in your bedroom, with unknown intent. All these thoughts fly past you a mile a minute, while your hand desperately scrambles with the light switch. You manage to flick it on. Light enters the room, and you see the "creature" is actually just the winter jacket you threw over the closet door earlier. A laugh escapes you, and you grab your cell phone before heading back downstairs. But you keep the light on. There is nothing quite like the feeling of fear. It sets us edge. But why do we feel fear? Where does it come from?

Aside from the fears we are born with, we also have conditioned fears. These are formed when we have a negative experience and are afraid of something similar happening again. They're often irrational because our brain tricks us into believing that similar circumstances as the event will lead to the same frightening outcome. An example is if you were attacked by a dog when you were a child and you still cringe whenever one comes near you. The majority of dogs are friendly, but because you had one bad encounter, you avoid all of them. Does that apply to people?

Since the last day that man touched me, I couldn't stop taking pregnancy tests. I take them probably 3 or 4 times a week. Even if it's impossible for me to get pregnant if I didn't already did, I can't stop. It's like a lingering thought in my head that resurfaces and makes me anxious. I have all these negative tests to prove I'm not pregnant, I just need one more to be sure. And one more. And one more. It's probably insane what I' m doing. It definitely is. I probably cleaned my room for at least 10 times the past 2 weeks. I arrange and rearrange every little thing so meticulously it makes me feel uneasy if something is not at it's place. If my clothes are not organized by color, if my phone is under 70%, if I don't have my hair tie around my left wrist.

School starts soon, how am I supposed to go back? Everybody knows what happened. I bet they'll be nice to me just because they think I'm pathetic. Either that or they will glare at me in the most nasty way, blaming me and the others for what happened in Riverdale. I've been trying to tell myself I won't listen but it will probably get the best of me. I wonder how the others feel. Are they just as scared as me? Or are they going in with their head held high. Veronica, everybody knows what her evil dad did. Betty, everybody knows what her father did. How her mom practically became a nutcase ever since. Jughead and his Serpents, everybody still has mixed feelings about them. Everybody already knows about my dad being in town, an FBI agent and a former Serpent.

"Alright pretty girl, ready for some back to school shopping?" Cheryl smiled as I reached her car "Oh my God" I smiled at her vintage, cherry red convertible "My exact reaction" Toni laughed. I jumped in the back and Cheryl drove off "Do you ladies have your Pinterest boards ready? Cause I love a good aesthetic. Babe, you know I love you but your new age MySpace Urban Outfitters style has got to go. And for you Lila, do you plan on elevating your style? I hope not cause I love this modern take on 80's/90's Chanel runway thing you have going on" Cheryl smiled "Thank you" I smiled "But I agree, Toni needs a makeover" I said and she gasped "I do not" Toni defended "I live for a makeover! Done!" Cheryl cheered. She actually drove 2 hours to the fancy shops which was completely out of Toni's scene but she made an effort. Me, Ronnie and Cheryl decided we'll take on Riverdale high in style this year. Once I got home, Veronica came over to check out my stuff "Ugh, I'm so mad I couldn't make it" she pouted as she held up a skirt in front of her in the mirror "You missed out big time" I chuckled "I've just been planning Labor day getaway" she said "You guys doing anything fancy?" Toni asked "Not my exact idea of fancy but I tried planning it so Judgead would enjoy it too" she said "That's very thoughtful" I smiled "You guys sure you don't want to come?" Ronnie asked "Yeah" I said "Alright I should go, it's getting late" Veronica said and put the skirt down onto the bed and grabbed her purse "TTYL" she smiled and left "She gone yet?" Fangs peaked his head in "Yes" Toni laughed "Okay good" he said and jumped onto my bed "Dude" I laughed and shoved him so I could get all the clothes from under him out safely "So what's planned for tonight?" Fangs asked "Well, we were planning on braiding each other's hair, paint our nails, watch The Breakfast Club, do face masks" Toni said and I laughed, grabbing my nail polish box "Pick your color" I said and put it in front of Fangs who laughed as well "Kevin is also coming" I added "Hmm, this one is kind of eyeing me, whatever fucking color is this, periwinkle" Fangs said and Toni burst into laughter, making me smile. Once Kevin got here, we made some Sloppy Joe's and started our sleepover "Huh....this is really what girls do at sleepovers?" Fangs said "What did you expect?" Toni asked "Pillow fights in lingerie and girl on girl action, probably" Kevin said "Ew, that's so sexist" Toni said "How would you feel if I told you that all guys do in the bathroom is check out each other's junk and flex in the mirror" I said "That is what we do" Fangs said and I rolled my eyes "Your face mask is sliding off" I said and he quickly arranged the slimy sheet of his face "Okay so would you rather have young Leo or Jack from Titanic" Kevin said "Ooh, Jack" Toni answered "I thought you're into girls" Fangs said "It's Jack from Titanic dude" Toni laughed. Moments like this kept me sane, where we wouldn't talk about problems or try so hard to not say the wrong words because we might offend someone or kill the moo. "Speaking of, who remembers Lila the first time she came to the Wyrm? She pretended to be this cool chick that smokes and is out for trouble" Fangs said "Oh my God" I laughed, covering my face "Wait why don't I know of that?" Kev spoke up, perking his ears "I do, she came in this short dress and everybody was onto her, she acted like freaking Jessica Rabbit" Toni laughed "Stop" I nudged her "The complete opposite of what she actually is like" Fangs said "It was a phase, I was trying to protest against coming here, okay?" I laughed.

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