Disconnected

Drifting Away

He ends the kiss and bites his lip. "You're so sexy." He whispers in my ear. "Ashton, we have to study." I say. "Admit it. You really don't want to study." He says putting his cold hand up my shirt. I shiver. "We don't have to study if you want." He whispers in my ear. He carries me upstairs.

Luke's POV:

"Mom... is it okay if I go home early?" I ask. "Sure. Why?" She asks. "I'm just worried about Rachel." I say. "Well if you love her so much, you can leave." She smiles. I give her a kiss on the cheek.

I go in my room to pack my things. Saturday just seems like a busy day.

When I'm done packing, I get ready to go. I can't believe I stayed up all night. It's 5:17am. Let's face it, I can never go to sleep early without Rachel. I get in my moms' car and she gets on after me.

...

Rachel:

Ashton takes his shirt off. "I could do this to your body everyday." He smirks. It just sounds so similar to... Luke. He starts kissing down my stomach all the way to my thighs.

...

Ashton falls on the bed. "That was... great." He says looking at me. I say nothing. "We still didn't study." I say. "Forget studying." He says caressing my cheek. "I'm gonna go." I say. "Okay. Well I'll see you tomorrow. Maybe we could go to the diner?" He asks. "Sure." I say. I put on my clothes and I gather up my things. I head out the door.

...

I get back to Clairs' house. I knock on the door and Calum answers it. "Oh... hey Cal." I say awkwardly. "Hey Rach... come in." He says. "Yea. Okay." I say stepping in. I head upstairs. I see Clair. "Clair, are you studying with Calum?" I ask. "Yea. You're here quite early." She says. "Yea. Our study session got cut short. I'll just stay up here while you guys study." I say putting my book bag down. She goes downstairs.

I lay on the bed thinking of Luke and how he'll feel about the note. God I'm such a prick.

...

*3:08am*

My phone buzzes. I'm not actually asleep. I can't sleep. I check my phone. It's a text from Luke.

*I understand*

It reads. He came home early.

*Why are you home so early?*

*I was worried about you... but I guess you're all situated without me*

*Luke... I'm sorry*

*I know you are. I still love you, but I understand*

*I still love you too*

*I'll call you whenever I'm ready to talk about it*

*Okay*

We leave our conversation at that. He must be very hurt. Of course he is.

Luke's' POV:

"Dammit!" I yell throwing things at the wall. I end up ripping my shirt. I feel like a wild wolf. "I fucking hate him!" I yell breaking more things. I almost break the picture of Rach and I. I stare at it and I keep it. I go into the bathroom and I look at myself. How ripped up my shirt is, how red my eyes are... how broken I am. I punch the mirror and it shatters into a million pieces. My knuckles are bloody but I don't fucking care. I sit down in a corner trying to think. I'm a wreck. I throw my phone at the wall hoping it breaks, but it doesn't.

I go downstairs to grab some bottles of beer.

Once I'm done with one, I throw the bottle at the wall and watch it shatter. I go outside into the woods so I don't end up burning the house down. I breathe slowly. I wish I could have her here right next to me trying to make me calm down. I can't live without Rach. She's the only person I really love besides my family.