Mrs. Independent: Part Two

Chapter Eight: Stress

Chapter Eight: Stress

Katherine

When I walk into the office on Monday morning, Isabelle was waiting by the elevator for me.
I greeted her and went straight to my office. I just don't feel like dealing with people today, but I needed to come to the office.
I needed to come to the office to get away from home for a few hours.
Yes, the kids are at school and yes, Josh is at work, but after this weekend? I needed a couple of minutes where there's not a risk of me running into anybody I live with.
After the worst fight of my life with Josh, the announcement that my Mom is getting married, and my ex best friend finding his way back to my house? I need some time.
And I want to talk to somebody about how I'm feeling but it's not like I have any friends to talk to.
Usually I talk to Josh, but I can't sit my husband down and tell him that I feel guilty about not wanting to see anybody in my family.
I run my fingers through my hair and a moment later, Isabelle walks into my office.
Without a word, she sits down across from my desk.
She's worked as my assistant for almost sixteen years. About three years ago there was a problem at work and I didn't even hear about it until two weeks later because Isabelle knew exactly what I was going to do. She told me she knew I was busy with my family and she handled it herself. I realized then that she is more to this company than an assistant. She's kind of like the head of the branch while I'm not here. I changed her title to my executive assistant. Really, she's my partner, she just doesn't make any huge decisions, she only helps me through tasks and takes over while I'm gone. She is paid accordingly and I had some construction done to make my office a little smaller so she has her own office now, whereas before it was just a desk outside of my office.
My eyes drift to a picture on my desk of me with Josh. It was taken about a year ago on the beach in Southampton. I was in a sundress and he was wearing tan pants and a blue button down. It was for my Dad's wedding and it was supposed to be dressy but casual.
He has his arm around me and my hand is on his chest and we're smiling and we look happy.
And we are happy, we are, but I feel like there's been a huge strain on our relationship since that fight. Part of him must feel like I'm going to walk out at any minute, and part of me wonders if he lied to me so I would think he doesn't think I'm still that drugged up girl from my early twenties.
Maybe I'm paranoid, but things feel different between us, and I think it's affecting the kids.
I think the kids feel it too, because this morning I got up first and it's almost tradition that whoever gets up first sneaks up behind the other to hug them from behind. We've been doing it since before we were engaged, but when Josh woke up this morning he didn't do it.
And I know he loves me, I know he does, but everything feels wrong.
The kids are snippy and giving us attitude. I don't know why.
"Katherine!"
My head snaps up, my eyes locking with Isabelle.
"What?!" I sit up straight, alarmed.
"I have been trying to get your attention for like, three minutes. Josh called you like, six times, and then he called my office and told me to ask you to call him. Or text him back."
Nodding, I grab my phone. I have a text from him and six missed calls.
Love: call me Kath, it's important
Love: I need you to come home right away
Worried, I hit the phone icon and hold it to my ear, waiting.
After a few rings, it stops.
"Hey." He sounds stressed.
"What's wrong?" I ask.
"Bryson got suspended."
"What?!" I sit up straight. "What the hell do you mean?"
"I mean, he got suspended. I don't know why but I'm going right now to pick him up from school."
"Are you serious? Suspended?"
"Yes." He says.
"Alright. Okay, I'm coming home. Don't talk to him until I get there. We can tag team interrogate him."
"Okay. Love you."
"Love you too."
We hang up the phone and I stand up.
"Who was suspended?" Isabelle asks.
"Bryson." I start grabbing my things.
"What? But he's twelve? What did he do?"
"I don't know."

______

I stand in the living room beside my husband who is wearing a white button down and black dress slacks, and his black dress shoes. He hasn't had a change to change and neither have I. I'm in a tan long sleeve shirt and a black pencil skirt with my shirt tucked in.
Together, we stand in the living room with Bryson on the couch. My eyes have not left his face in over ten minutes. He's squirming under my gaze, but I'm not looking in his eyes.
I'm looking at the black eye and busted lip.
He's twelve years old. Who the hell was he fighting?
The grandfather clock in the foyer starts to sing, and then it dongs four times, telling me it's four in the afternoon on the dot. The other three kids are upstairs. I know they had questions when they saw the condition of their brother's face, but all I had to do was look at them to get them to stay in their bedrooms.
For all I know they're hiding in the foyer.
In fact, I'm sure that's where they are. They're curious.
Josh sighs, running his fingers through his hair, and he opens his mouth to speak and then closes it.
I tap my red high heel on the wood floor a couple of times.
"Speak." I say finally. There's a ton to my voice that even makes Josh's eyebrows raise. It's icy. Flat.
I know my kids aren't perfect. I'm sure they do stuff at school, make crude jokes and probably even swear, but they know not to do anything stupid. They know not to get into a car with people who don't know how to drive. They stay away from idiots, and they know damn well not to lay a hand on somebody, especially if it's not justified.
And my son? Fighting? Suspended? He's twelve! I will not tolerate him going down the same path I went down.
None of my children will be making the mistakes I made. I will walk straight into the middle of a drug deal and cuss them out.
I won't tolerate reckless behavior, because my children are not reckless.
"W-what do you want me to say?" Bryson mumbles.
"I want to know who the hell you laid your hands on." I say. My eyes are locked on his now and I don't falter in the slightest. My arms remain crossed over my chest, and Bryson forces his eyes away.
"Um-"
"Look at me when you're speaking to me." I say.
His eyes snap right back to mine.
"Well, um, I walked into a pole." He says.
"You what?" Josh asks harshly.
"I walked into a pole." He repeats, looking between the two of us.
I stare at him for a minute, trying to decide if he's actually going to tell me the truth.
When he says nothing, I realize he must think his lie is actually going to sell.
I let out a humorless laugh.
"What the hell do you think we are, Bryson? Do you think we're stupid?"
"No."
"No what?" Josh snaps.
"No ma'am." He mumbles.
"Now, what happened?" I ask again.
"Mom, I told you. I walked into a pole."
I look at Josh with fury in my eyes, and then march across the living room to the kitchen. The only sound in the entire house is my heels marching across the floor.
I grab the house phone and walk back into the living room.
"Who are you calling?" Bryson asks quietly.
"I'm calling the police." I say.
"What?" He asks.
"Well, you think it's okay to assault somebody and lie about it, right?" I raise my eyebrows at him. "That's a felony, so what would you say babe? Ten years in jail?"
Josh nods.
"Yeah. Maybe even twenty."
"You're not going to call the police." Bryson stands up.
"Sit down!" Josh orders.
He sits straight back onto the couch.
I make sure he hears me dial the nine and the one.
"Now, I will ask you one more time, Bryson Elwood." I say. "What happened?"
"I fought somebody!" He blurts. "Don't call on me Mama! Please!"
I hit the end button and toss the phone on the coffee table.
"Why?" I ask.
"Because he made me mad!"
"What did he do to make you think it's okay to harm another human, Bryson? What did he do?" Josh pushes.
"Nothing! He didn't do anything!" Bryson says.
"Then why did you hurt him?" I demand.
"Because he bumped into me in the hallway-"
"Stop lying. Don't you dare lie to us again, do you understand me?" I say. "Why did you hurt him?"
"He bumped into me-"
I grab the house phone again.
"Okay! I was jealous!" He says, panicked. He stands up again, and Josh points at the couch with an angry look on his face.
Bryson sits straight back on the couch.
"Jealous of what, Bryson?" I say, rubbing my temples. I'm feeling a headache come on.
And then anger contorts his face and he stands up. When Josh points to the couch, he doesn't sit back down.
"Because Aiden's parents got divorced, and now they're fine again and they're getting remarried! They're happy!"
I take a step back.
"Okay, and? Why would that make you jealous?" I ask.
"Because it did. I don't have to have a reason for everything, alright?" He snaps at me.
"Whoa, what the hell do you think this is?" Josh asks angrily. "This woman right here? She's your mother! She gave you life! If I ever hear you talking to her like that again, I'll have your ass on the next bus to military school, do you understand me?!"
"Yes sir."
"You don't talk down to anybody. Apologize!"
"Sorry Mom." He mumbles.
"Now sit down." Josh says.
Bryson drops back to the couch and I shake my head slowly.
"Why are you jealous that Aiden's parents are getting remarried?" I wonder.
He glares at me and Josh.
"Because I know."
"You know what?" Josh asks.
"I know you and Mom are getting a divorce! Caiden, Emma, and Matt know too! I told Nana!"
I look at Josh in confusion and he looks just as confused as I am.
The kids told my mother-in-law that Josh and I are getting divorced.
I guarantee that Megan told my mother who probably blabbed to Claire.
If Claire knows, everyone knows.
But there's nothing to know.
"Kids!" Josh hollers. "Come down here! Now!"
I look at Bryson. "When did you tell Nana?"
"When I was in the office waiting for Dad to come get me." He mumbles.
Okay, it's only been two hours. Maybe I have a chance to stop the hurricane before it starts.
But first things first.
The kids. They're the most important.
The other three come into the living room after just a moment, confirming my suspicions of them hanging out on the staircase.
My mind is brought back to the stresses in my marriage right now, but I push the aside to focus on the kids.
"What makes you guys think we're getting a divorce?" I ask.
"I heard Dad ask you Saturday night if you wanted a divorce." Caiden says accusingly.
"What are you talking about?" Josh asks.
"You asked Mom if she wanted a divorce! I heard you say it!"
"No I didn't." Josh says.
"Yes you did, Dad!" Caiden says seriously. "I heard you say it! I even looked in your room and you weren't even near Mom! I saw you guys with my own two eyes!"
"Okay, but that didn't happen!" Josh says, looking at me. "Katherine!"
I bury my head in my hands.
I need a fucking massage.
I comb through my mind, thinking back to Saturday night.
That was the night Ryan showed up.
I remember almost falling asleep, but Josh was laying on me.
I lift my head up to look at my husband.
"Yes you did."
"No I didn't." He says.
"You did." I say. "Think about it."
He looks confused, and then realization dawns on him.
Caiden heard the beginning of the long emotional conversation, the very vulnerable conversation that deserves to say only between my husband and I.
How the hell am I going to explain this to everybody?
"Dad, how could you ask Mom for a divorce like that? You guys aren't you without each other! Ever since that stupid fight on friday, everything has changed!" Emma says angrily.
"Nothing changed-"
"Yes, everything did change!" Bryson says. "You guys didn't even sit next to each other when our family was here! Mom got upset because of Grandma and went upstairs and you didn't go after her, Uncle Liam did! And then Mom called you out of the room and you were quiet for the rest of the night, and then less than like, four hours later, you were asking her for a divorce!"
This is going to be a long night.
"That was a misunderstanding-"
"Yeah, that's what you called that fight on Friday!" Matt says. "You know, until this last weekend, I was lucky. My friends would come to school announcing their parents were getting divorced or they were going to their Dad's house for the weekend! They would say their parents got into a fight and I never understood it. I didn't get it, but now? Now everything is being ripped away from us!"
"I'm not moving out." Emma snaps.
"Yeah, I'm not moving. I don't want to live in two houses." Caiden says.
"Guys, stop." I say. "That's enough, okay?"
They fall silent.
I need a drink.
With a sigh, I run my fingers through my hair.
"We are not getting divorced. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. Did he ask if I wanted a divorce? Yes, but he asked that because he was worried I was still upset with him about our fight on Friday night. He wanted to make sure I wasn't going to leave him."
"Wait, what?" Bryson's face lights up.
"You're not getting divorced?" Caiden asks.
"No." Josh says quietly. "We love each other way too much to let the other go. I'm sorry you guys had to see us fighting like that, but it's okay. We're okay."
"But Mom left that night." Emma whispers.
They look at me and I open my mouth to apologize, and then I close it.
"I would tell you guys that I'm sorry for leaving, but I'm not."
"What?" Josh asks quietly.
I give him an apologetic look and turn back to the kids. I sit down on the edge of the coffee table and look between the four of them
"It's okay to need time to calm down. I'm glad I left. If I didn't, I would stay angry. I could have said or done something I didn't mean to do. By leaving, I had a chance to calm myself down. It's okay to not be okay. It's okay to take time to be okay again. I wasn't reckless." I look at Josh. "I'm not sorry for leaving."
He takes a deep breath and shoves his hands into the pockets of his dress pants. He looks hurt.
I stand up and walk over to him, looking right into his eyes.
"I'm not sorry for leaving, and that's why I can't promise that I'm not going to do it again."
He takes a step back slightly, looking down at the floor.
I reach up to put my hand on his cheek, gently tilting his head so his eyes meet mine again.
"But I am sorry for hurting you." I whisper. "I never wanted to hurt you, and that's why I left. I needed to calm myself down, and after we both had a chance to breathe, we were okay within ten minutes of being in the same room together. So I can't make that pact. If I need time, I will leave."
He just nods and I can tell he's upset because he won't look at me.
"But I promise you that no matter what the situation, no matter how bad the circumstance, I'm going to come back. Always. I'm not going to sleep without saying I love you. I don't care if you commit murder. I'm still coming back, I'm just going to need a little time to come up with a plan to hide the body." His eyes find mine again. "It's you and me, okay? Forever."
"Okay." He says quietly.
He pulls me into his arms and buries his face in my hair. I wrap my arms around his waist and hide my face in his chest.
After a couple of seconds, he pulls back and kisses me.
I hear a series of gags from over my shoulder and I smile against his lips.
"Yeah, they're definitely not getting divorced." Caiden says.
I turn to face them.
"Alright, you three, go back upstairs." I gesture for them to go. Bryson stays on the couch as the other three walk out.
"Since you're suspended for three days, those three days will be spent with me. You go where I go. When you get home, you have dinner and go to bed. No TV, no phone, no video games, you're grounded." I tell him.
I have never once grounded my kids. They have never done anything that constituted being grounded.
"You were raised right, Bryson." Josh says. "You weren't raised talking with your fists, and we're not going to tolerate you starting now."
"Okay."
"Now give me your phone and your DS." I say.
"I will go get them."
He walks out, leaving me alone with Josh.
My mind drifts back to the thoughts that I had earlier, and this just piles on to it.
"Are you okay?" He asks me. I look at him and nod.
"I'm fine." I say, and then I pause. "Actually, no, I'm not fine," I say. "I'm not okay."
What's the point of lying anyways? I feel like crap. I had a bad fight with Josh, Mom is getting remarried to somebody she hardly know, I was forced to address my relationship with Ryan, and now my twelve year old got suspended for fighting somebody because of Josh and I.
And all of those things piling up makes me want to lie to everyone in the family and tell them I need to go on a business trip, and then I want to take a long vacation.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks.
I open my mouth to tell him no, but Bryson walks into the living room with his phone and his D.S.
All four of my kids have cell phones, but they only have flip phones. We're going to get Caiden a smartphone for his fifteenth birthday in December, he just doesn't know about it.
He hands them to me.
"Now go do your homework." I say.
"I don't have any homework."
"Then go read a book."
He looks like he's about to argue, and then he just turns around and walks out.
When his footsteps disappear upstairs, I slowly sit down on the couch, ready to scream.
Halloween is today and I seriously don't want to take the kids out tonight, and Bryson isn't going regardless.
It's tradition to go meet with my brother and sister and let the kids go together.
"What are we going to do about Halloween?" Josh asks finally. "Are we going to Long Island? And if we are, is Bryson going too?"
It's not fair for the other three to not go to Long Island, and it's not fair of Josh and I to have to stay in all night.
I sink down on the couch and bury my head in my hands.
"I don't know." I say finally.
"I think he should go." He says.
"Why?" I ask him.
He shrugs. "It's not fair to the other three if he doesn't and it's not fair to us if he doesn't. He should go and be grounded later."
I nod slightly and stand up.
"Alright, well we have to leave soon then."
"Okay. I'll tell the kids to get ready."

______

Honestly Katherine's stress is making me stressed lmao
~Sam